


Save Tonight

by CyanideSun



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-05-17 16:03:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 27,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5876995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyanideSun/pseuds/CyanideSun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kari had spent most of her life floating, unable to find her place in the world. She was an outcast everywhere she went. Can she manage to find a home in the band of misfits that is the SVU?</p><p>Spoilers abound, but don't follow the episodes exactly. Will have it's own story as a whole, but references numerous episodes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kari Grey walked into the courthouse, adjusting her pale pink button down top. She'd been following the Adam Cain case on television and online. Even though her "Twenty-five Acts" book was disgusting, Jocelyn Paley didn't deserve what had happened to her. She remembered hearing of the ADA, Rafael Barba, back in Brooklyn when she was working for the police department there. She pulled her long, curly, black hair into a low ponytail.

Rafael Barba was a severe man. She'd never met him officially, but he seemed like the kind of man you wouldn't want to cross. He wasn't unattractive. Kari would go as far to say as he was handsome. But he made her nervous.

Kari wasn't shocked to find out Jocelyn Paley had lied about writing the book. Kari thought she seemed too docile and innocent to be into the BDSM described in the book, despite all her attempts at lying. Kari had always been good at reading people, or so she had been told.

Kari fidgeted in her seat watching Counselor Barba interrogate Adam Cain on the stand. His green eyes were hard, even as he tried to be friendly with the defendant.

"As a regular Joe, I am curious how this belt around the neck thing is exciting. I am sure that the jury is curious as well." Kari's mouth opened slightly as she watched the ADA wrap his belt around his own neck. She covered her mouth as he goaded the defendant, forcing him to incriminate himself there on the witness stand. She jumped to her feet when Cain choked Barba right there in the courtroom.

"Not a mark. People's exhibit 20. Jocelyn Paley's neck." Kari couldn't help but respect the extreme means Barba went to to prove his case.

She didn't need to stick around to know this case was closed. She slipped out of the courtroom as quietly as possible.

It was a short subway ride to her small apartment. Kari tossed her bag and jacket onto the couch and took off her shoes. Her large black cat Valo ran up to her, slinking between her feet.

"Hey, bubba. You miss me?" She knelt and lifted the hefty feline to her chest. He rubbed his head against her chin and mewed. "Yeah, I missed you, too."

Kari looked around her new Manhattan apartment, boxes still scattered everywhere. It was a studio, but of decent size. It was just her and Valo in the apartment, so it worked for her. Kari sighed and decided to rummage through the boxes, putting things away. She grabbed her knife from the coffee table and slid it across the tape on the top of the box. It was her college stuff. Diplomas, yearbooks, memorabilia. She sighed and pulled her Yale degrees from the box.

Kari had always been smart. She was in college shortly after puberty. Early admission, dual majors and then a third. Computer science, law and psychology, and she never really used any of them. She was a skilled hacker, could work computers like she was born one.

She had joined the police force on a whim, deciding it was the best shot to try and use all her skills, but she usually ended up as a glorified IT girl.

She'd been called in to work a case with homeland security here in Manhattan, hence the move from Brooklyn. A terrorist cell using counterfeit visas through a guy in Bosnia. They'd picked up word that a terrorist was coming in to meet with someone already in the country using the guy, so she was, once again, a glorified techie. But, she told herself, it's for the good of the country, so it was helping people.

Kari walked to the terrace door, taking in the cooling night air. She pulled a cigarette from the pack on the table and lit it, letting the smoke swirl around her face. Her life felt at a stand still, and it irked her. She needed to shake things up, but she wasn't sure how.

She watched the bustling city below her for a few moments, listening to the chatter of life below. Everyone going on with their lives, and she just barely treading water. She was going to be 30 sooner rather than later, and she lived alone with her cat.

"Ugh, I'm pathetic." Kari sighed, snuffing out her cigarette. She rubbed the back of her neck and walked back inside


	2. Chapter 2

Kari walked into the homeland security office, spotting Lieutenant Eames, another loaner for the terrorist case, talking to a dark haired woman who looked upset.

"These women are being tortured. You expect us to just sit by and let it happen?!" the dark haired woman demanded.

"This is the right call. I'm sorry. After 9/11, this is what we have to do." Eames said flatly. The dark woman sighed and stormed out past Kari.

"What was that about?" Kari asked Eames, following her into her office.

"SVU somehow stumbled upon the sex traffic ring that the counterfeiters were supplying visas for. They want to run in, guns blazing, to break it up. We can't risk spooking this guy this close to the wire." Eames sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Kari patted the lieutenant's shoulder gently. "Perks of the job, Lieutenant. Anything I can do?" Kari asked, adjusting the bag on her shoulder.

"Check over the list on your desk. That's all we can do right now."

A few hours later, Kari threw her chair back and almost stumbled over her feet to get to Eames' office.

"Lieutenant, we missed it. This guy's already here." Eames was on the phone when she walked in. Shestood up almost as far as she had, storming past her. Kari, unsure what else to do, followed close behind.

They drove in relative silence to the 16th precinct office. Kari followed Eames in, but hung back when she went into the captain's office.

"Hi, can I help you?" A short, blonde woman stepped forward. Kari smiled and shook her head.

"Kari Grey. I'm on loaner from Brooklyn PD. Working with homeland security. Here with Eames."

"Amanda Rollins, good to meet you. You don't sound like you're from Brooklyn. Where'd you move from?"

"Originally from Baltimore, actually. Moved to Washington when I was 15, then Connecticut fit school. After a few years back in Washington, I finally got to move to New York." Kari chuckled slightly at the end.

"So all over, huh? Why did you pick New York?" Rollins asked.

"Who doesn't love the Big Apple, right? I've always loved the city. Used to spend weekends in the city with my father when I was younger. I never wanted to leave. Despite all the dirt in this city, it's beautiful." Rollins chuckled at Kari, shaking her head.

"You're an optimistic girl, Grey. I like that." Eames walked back into the squad room. She pulled Kari aside as the room burst to life.

"We're confronting the terrorist. You stay here, where it's safe. I'll be back soon. Hopefully with good news." Kari smiled at Eames, patting her shoulder in what she thought was encouraging.

"Good luck, Alex." Kari smiled and watched pretty much the entire squad room filed out.

An older man with black frame glasses watched her from his desk.

"No invite to the party, eh?" He asked her, leaning back in his chair. Kari shrugged, walking over to him.

"I'm used to it by now. I never get invited for the fun stuff. Kari Grey, Brooklyn PD."

"John Munch, I've been here forever." Munch extended his hand and she shook it. "You're from Baltimore." Munch stated more than asked.

"Good guess, yeah. Grew up by the harbor, near Bayview." She took a seat in front of Munch's desk. She perched her glasses on top of her head and leaned back.

"Pikesville, but much before your time. You're awfully young to be working homeland security."

"I'm a loaner, actually. I'm supposedly a detective in Brooklyn, but at this point I'm IT with a badge."

"Computer geek, huh?" Kari scoffed at him and laughed. Munch raised his hands in defense. "Hey, nothing wrong with that. Not my bag, but to each their own."

"Hey man, don't knock it just cuz you're too old to figure it out." Kari joked.

"I resent that painfully true statement." She laughed again and shook her head.

Munch and Kari talked the time away waiting for Eames to return. When they walked in, there was a dark haired girl in an exceptionally short dress in handcuffs and a young man right behind. Eames pointed to the girl and mouthed "We got her." Kari gave her a thumbs up and stood.

"I think my work here is done. Not that I really did anything. Story of my life." Kari sighed, throwing her bag over her shoulder. "I'm just glad I moved a half hour away from work for this."

"Headed back to Brooklyn, then? Back to desk jockey?" Munch stood with her, offering to walk her out.

"This is the most action I've gotten out of my job since I moved to New York. Glad I spent damn near ten years in college for this." Kari exhaled sharply, blowing her bangs out of her eyes.

"So why keep at it? Find something else you are passionate about. Your life, take the reigns, kid." Munch mimed riding a horse and Kari chuckled. Munch pushed the call button for the elevator.

"That's the problem, though. I know I want to help people, I just don't know how. I'm not...forceful enough to be a lawyer. Psychology seems to only appeal to be in theory, not in practice. I'm really good with computers, amazing really. But I want to do more than sit behind a monitor my whole life."

"That's quite a confession. I wish I could help you more, kiddo. If you figure out what you want to do, give me a call. I'll back you up, whatever you decide." He pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to her as they elevator doors opened.

"Thanks, sergeant." Kari smiled and patted him on the arm before boarding the elevator out of the 1-6.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for season 14 episode 6 "Friending Emily" in this chapter. Will try to ease back on her spoilers soon, just wanna get Kari established in the group a bit. Please let me know what you think about this chapter.

The ringing phone stirred her from her book. Kari was curled up on her bed, Valo resting on her lap. She pushed the behemoth cat out of the way and grabbed the phone from her nightstand. Munch's name popped up on the screen.

"You better have a good reason for interrupting the bard. I'm knee deep in unrequited love, here." Kari joked, placing her book on the bed.

"Your legendary computer skills are needed at the 1-6, kiddo. You free?"

"I'm reading Hamlet for the ten millionth time. I'll be there in five." Kari ended the call and hopped out of bed. Valo protested loudly about his loss of a pillow as she threw her hair up and dug through her clothes.

She walked to the elevator door at the precinct, straightening her skirt and tightening her ponytail.

"There she is. Kari, you remember Amanda, right?" Munch motioned to the blonde girl she'd met the first time she was here. Since that day, the only she'd really talked to was Munch. He reminded her of her father, which made her smile.

"Yes, of course. Nice to see you again." Kari shook her hand politely. Munch motioned for her to follow Rollins, who was walking over to a corkboard.

"Emily Culpher, 14. On a school trip to New York with her sister Taylor who is fifteen. They went to a frat party at Tompkins Square. Taylor received an e-vite from a girl called Wendi that uploaded malware into her phone, accessing all her personal data." Kari held up her hand to stop Amanda.

"Say no more, ma'am. I'm on it." Kari slid into the chair in front of the computer. She was focused so hard on the screen, she didn't notice ADA Barba come into the squad room.

"And who are you?" He leaned against the table she was sitting at. Kari jumped slightly and cleared her throat.

"Detective Kari Grey, sir. Brooklyn PD." She stood and extended her hand.

"What are you doing all the way out here? Why's Brooklyn involved?" Barba's intense gaze made her cheeks flush slightly.

"I swiped her when no one was looking." Munch placed a hand on Kari's shoulder, and she smiled slightly.

"You look very familiar, Grey. Have we worked together before?" Barba asked, crossing his arms, eying her slowly.

"N-no, sir. We've never met officially. I've seen you in Brooklyn when our precinct was handling one of your cases. I've followed a few of yours on my own. Not specifically, I just had interest in cases you happened to be taking." Kari spoke very quickly when she was nervous, so everything she said came out as one quick burst. Barba raised his eyebrows at her, but didn't respond.

"Do we have anything yet?" He turned to Munch, dismissing her silently. Kari let out a breath and sat back in front of the computer.

"Munch, you actually have good timing. I was able to pull a link from the malware to a site called Link Free or Die. A glorified black market classified page. Guns, drugs, porn. Everything a creep could ask for." Kari followed Barba's suit in dismissing him right back.

"Is there any way to trace it back to this Wendi girl?" Munch leaned over Kari's shoulder, looking at the website.

"Maybe. Give me a minute...there! It links back to a site called Lolitaville. Oh gosh, this is terrible." Kari hid her face against Munch's shoulder, and he patted her arm.

"Focus, Detective. Is Emily on there?" Kari sighed and stiffened her shoulders.

"Here. Here, there's a live stream starting called Emily 1." Barba joined Munch at Kari's shoulder. She couldn't help but notice his earthy cologne. Spicy, almost.

The video started, a young blonde girl waking up on a bed. She looked lost and scared. Kari put a hand to her mouth, a small gasp escaping her lips.

"That's her! That's Emily." Munch almost yelled. "Can you trace it?"

"Already on it, John." Kari went into full computer mode. "I...it's coming from everywhere, but nowhere. I've got pings coming in from twenty different countries at the same time. This guy's buried himself deep into the DarkNet." She let out a heavy sigh and turned to look pointedly at Barba. "Legally," she enunciated specifically, "there is nothing I can do here."

"I'm not here. Call me if you find anything." Barba raised his hands and walked out the door.

"I can set up a Trojan that can get around, but like I said, legally it's a grey area at best. If we stick to legal recourse, it's hopeless." Munch raised an eyebrow at her. He put up a finger and walked into the captain's office. Two people walked into the squad room then, looking distraught.

"Hopeless? Are you talking about Emily?" Kari slammed the laptop shut and turned, her stomach lurching. The girl's parents. Blessedly, Olivia came to her aid. "Was that her on the screen? Where is my daughter?" The woman's hands shook, her eyes wide.

"Mr. and Mrs. Culpher. Please come with me. My name is Olivia Benson." Olivia gave her a hard look, and she sighed. Here one day and she'd already screwed up. Kari slumped back into her chair.

The video stream had ended by the time she opened the laptop back up. She sighed and lowered her head on the table for a moment. Munch walks back into the room, Captain Cragen close behind.

"Do what you have to, Kari. We need to take this guy down."

A few hours later, she finally gets through to the site. Benson, Munch, Rollins and Cragen are huddled behind her.

"I can shut it down right now." Kari stated, her perched fingers pressed to her lips.

"No, it's our only connection to Emily. Can you get into his logs or something?" Rollins asks, leaning forward.

"On it, boss." Kari joked slightly.

"I miss when we just knocked on doors." Cragen sighed, turning away from the computer.

"I've got something. Found uploads from Peter going back 5 years. Every year it's a new girl. Emily now makes 6." Kari huffed in disgust, pinching the bridge of her nose. Rollins printed out stills of the other girls.

"See if we can track these girls down." Cragen demanded, leaving the room.

"A live feed is coming up. Emily 2!" Kari called out, clicking the stream open. Emily came up on the screen, wet from a shower. Peter's voice came over the speaker, cooing at her and brushing her hair. Kari looked away again in disgust again.

"Kari, you're with me. We're going to Barba. See what he wants to do next." Olivia walked toward the door. Kari slammed the laptop shut and followed.

"There's a good chance all these girls are in the system." Barba stated flatly. "I'll get you the warrants."

"SVU arrests victims, now?" Kari spat before she could stop herself. Barba raised his eyebrows at her. She shrunk back slightly, embarrassed.

"At this point, Emily has to be our top priority. We can't save these other girls." Kari noticed Barba's voice was marginally warmer when he said this. She nodded quietly, stepping back toward the door. Olivia led her back to the car.

"I know this is hard for you, Kari. I'm sorry you're so involved in this." Olivia said when they were back in the car.

"I just feel so bad for this girl. I'm hoping we can get her out of there before things get worse than they already are." Kari sighed and looked out the window.

"We? You thinking of a transfer?" Olivia chuckled. Kari blushed slightly and shrugged.

"I don't really know. I kind of feel...stagnant, back at Brooklyn. Like...the fact that I am a detective is constantly overshadowed by my technical abilities. I spend every day behind a desk. I'm good with computers, yes, but I miss...I miss people!" Kari threw her hands in the air. Olivia laughed lightly. "I became a detective to help people, not fix computers all day."

They returned to the precinct in relative silence. Kari waited in the squad room while the SVU detectives looked for the other girls. Cragen wandered out to her, a cup of coffee in each hand. He extended one to Kari, who smiled and thanked him.

"So Olivia tells me you might be considering a career change." Cragen took a seat next to her. Kari hummed but didn't respond. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you're very young for how much you've accomplished.

"I skipped two grades when I was young. Got early college admission." Kari tried to sound nonchalant, but Cragen widened his eyes slightly.

"That's very impressive." Cragen gave her a small smile.

"Thank you, sir. That means a lot coming from you." She took a small sip of her coffee, thankful for the caffeine boost, despite the poor quality.

The phone rang, and Cragen reached over to answer it. "I'll tell her." Cragen looked at Kari, a strange look on his face. "We need you one more time. Pull up the Lolitaville site. We need to track a live feed." Kari turned to the computer in front of her, pulling up the site she had tracked. Peter and Emily were on the screen, on a video call with Nick. Emily looked unharmed, thankfully. Nick was trying to keep him talking, letting Peter claim he was taking care of his girls, causing Kari to gag slightly.

Thanks to the virus Kari had inserted into the site, it was only a few moments before she had an address to give the officers. She watched as Peter was tackled to the ground. Kari let out a long breath, putting a hand to her chest.

Emily was reunited with her family, Wendi, aka Jane was back home. Kari felt a swell of happiness when she watched the girl hug her parents, knowing she had a hand in it.

"Good work today, Grey." Barba walked over to her, hands in his pockets.

"Thank you, sir." Kari looked at her feet, her cheeks flushing again.

"After nearly biting my head off at my office, we're back to this shy thing?" Barba smirked slightly.

"I'm very sorry for that, sir. It was not my place." She crossed her hands behind her.

"No, I don't want to hear that. Look at me." Barba stepped toward her. Kari raised her eyes to meet his. "This case would have fallen apart without your help. You should be proud, not shrinking."

"Yes, sir. I'll get right on that." Kari replied, lowering her gaze again.

"While you're at it, stop calling me sir." With that, he walked off.

Benson and Munch walked over to her, smiles on both their faces.

"Uh-oh. I don't like that look. John, what did you do?" Kari smirked at him. Munch gave her a look of faux shock, before shaking his head.

"I come over here with good news and I get accused. See if I do you any favors after this." Munch nudged her shoulder playfully.

"What favor is that, then?" Kari looked between them. Olivia smiled at her widely.

"We talked to your captain in Brooklyn. If you are interested, we'd love to have you join our team." Olivia stated. Kari widened her eyes, looking between them.

"Are-are you sure? I mean, of course, I would love to. If you want me, that is." Kari grinned, taking Olivia's outstretched hand.

"Welcome aboard, kiddo." Munch patted her on the shoulder. She was officially going to be an SVU detective.


	4. Chapter 4

Kari awoke the next morning happier than she'd been in a long time. Her transfer to SVU was going to take some time, but it was exciting. She would be actively helping people at work instead of hard drive crashes and virus scans.

She stretched and tossed her legs over the bed. Valo swatted at her for waking him, and she laughed.

With her few days off, she planned to get unpacked and organizing her, now 5 minutes from work, apartment. She turned music on from her laptop, a medley of songs from Vitamin String Quartet. She tossed on sweatpants and a t-shirt and started unpacking.

Her already small apartment felt considerably smaller once her things were settled into place. She switched on the coffee maker and slumped onto the couch. She glanced at her laptop, noticing a new email alert. She pulled the computer onto her lap and clicked her email client. Two new emails waiting for her. One from Munch. She clicked it open.

_You're the only person under 60 I know that has no social media accounts. I'm not sure if I should be impressed or disturbed._

Kari laughed out loud and typed out a reply.

_Some mixture of both, I imagine. I tend to have that effect on people. If you're part of my social circle, you should know how to contact me, right? How's everything at 1-6?_

She clicked back to her inbox, not sure if she should open it. It was from a sender she didn't recognize, and the subject line simply said **FOUND YOU ;-)**

Kari decided to scan the message for viruses before she opened it. No viruses she could see, but she ignored it anyway, deleting the unopened message. Munch had replied to her message. It contained a photo of him looking bored and she laughed again.

_Aww, it's that boring without me? You'll survive, I'm sure. Lunch? Text me._

She closed her computer and decided to take a shower. She got dressed and walked back into the living room. Her phone buzzed on the table, a text message.

_Let's go, kiddo. I'm waiting downstairs._

Kari threw on her shoes and tossed her hair into a ponytail and headed downstairs.

"I would have met you somewhere. You didn't have to come all the way over here." Kari smiled, linking her arm with his. Munch laughed lightly.

"All the, what, four blocks? I'm not that old, kiddo." Kari chuckled and they walked into a nearby sandwich shop.

"You get anything productive done today?" Munch asked her, picking at his food.

"All unpacked, finally. My tiny apartment is even tinier now, but it's okay. Plenty of room for Valo and me." Kari's phone buzzed in her pocket. An email from the same address as before.

**ARE YOU IGNORING ME? :-/**

Kari rolled her eyes and scoffed, tossing the phone aside.

"Everything all right?" Munch asked, setting his sandwich down with a concerned look on his face.

"Just someone sending me weird emails. Nothing important. So are you allowed to tell me about the case you're working on?"

Kari walked with Munch back to the precinct before heading back home. She walked up to her door and spotted a post-it note stuck to the doorknob.

**I KNOW YOU'RE GETTING MY EMAILS. OPEN IT :-(**

Kari unlocked her door and rushed inside. She locked the three locks, leaning her back against the door.

She walked over to her computer, opening her email client. She noticed the sender had resent the two ignored messages, and a third new one.

**STOP MAKING ME WAIT >:-(**

She clicked open the oldest message. Inside were photos of her around the city. Walking in or out of her old Brooklyn office, when she worked at Homeland Security. Getting coffee or shopping. In front of the SVU office.

Kari swallowed hard before opening the second. More photos, walking with Munch into the 16th precinct. Talking with Olivia while getting into a car. Jogging in the park.

Her hand hovered over the button, hesitant to click the newest message. More photos, of course. Her standing in the terrace just this morning smoking a cigarette. Meeting Munch this afternoon for lunch. Removing the post-it from her front door. Kari's laptop slid to the floor.

Her phone buzzed from her pocket. A text message from a blocked number.

**FOUND YOU, KIKI. NOW CAN YOU FIND ME?**

Kari choked on a breath, coughing roughly. Kiki? No one had called her that but one person. Jackson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, new character! Sorry for the cliffhanger! More soon!


	5. Chapter 5

Jackson Weiss was the one person she never wanted to see again. Their brief relationship still haunted her on occasion. He was the reason for moving to New York. He was the reason she didn't have any social media accounts. He was the reason she had changed her number every six months for the first five years she lived in New York.

She thought it had been long enough that she was safe to let her guard down. Her hand shook while she stared at the picture of her at her front door. He knew where she lived.

Her phone buzzed in her hand. An incoming call from Munch. She answered the call with a shaky sigh.

"H-h-hey, John. What's up?" Kari cleared her throat, trying to mask the fear in her voice.

"I know your transfer isn't official yet, but can we borrow you for a few minutes?" Apparently it worked.

"Of course you can!" Kari's voice was a little too loud. "Be there in ten, hon." She hung up her phone and dropped her head to knees. Maybe getting out of the house was the safer choice. Surrounded by people with guns. She had her own gun, of course, but isn't more always better?

Kari tucked her gun into her waistband and straightened her jacket before walking out the door.

The whole way to the precinct, she scanned the crowd for the painfully familiar sandy blonde hair of her ex husband. Her hand twitched constantly to the gun at her waist.

She ran up the stairs of the SVU building, feeling safer with four walls around her, and numerous uniformed police milling about.

She leaned her head against the metal elevator door, cooling her hot anxious skin.

"Do you always hug elevators, or are you particularly fond of this one?" Kari jumped at Barba's voice behind her.

"S-sorry. I just...long night." She straightened her jacket and took a step back. When the doors opened, Barba motioned for her to go first.

"Did they call you in on something? Your transfer isn't final yet." Barba shifted his briefcase to his other hand and pressed the floor button.

"Munch called me in. Not sure about what."

"Molestation accusations at a prep school. But I'm not sure how you would be of help. You know, maybe I don't wanna know. I get the feeling that if you're here, I shouldn't be." Kari stifled a laugh and nodded.

"I've no idea what you could possibly mean." Kari smiled innocently. Barba hummed in reply, but didn't speak. The elevator doors slid open and Barba walked out, shooting a quick glance back at her.

Kari walked up to Rollins sitting at her desk and gave her a small smile.

"Hey, darling. You finally a member of the family?" Rollins gave her a quick pat on the hand before returning to her work.

"Nah, just here to help with the prep school case? You know where Munch is hiding?" Before Rollins could reply, Munch was walking over to her from the captain's office.

"I never hide. I'm just stealthy. Can I see you over here...stealthily?" Kari nodded and crouched down, sneaking behind Munch for a moment, earning a laugh from Rollins.

"What are we sneaking up to, John?" Kari asked, leaning against the side of his desk. Munch motioned to his chair, so she sat down.

"We need information that the informee in question is unwilling to relinquish. We need your grey area, Grey."

"Sounds like a plan, man." She cracked her knuckles in a show offy manner. "What are we looking for?"

"We need the alumni list for the Manor Hill Academy. They're refusing to help in the investigation. Anyone in the last...say 30 years or so named Curt." Munch looked at her expectantly. Kari rolled her eyes.

"Here I thought you had a challenge for me. Give me 20 minutes. And maybe a cup of coffee." Munch shook his head and saluted.

"You got it, boss!" He walked toward the break room. It took her less than 15 minutes to get the list for them, which Amaro commented on.

"We don't pay her enough." He laughed and handed her a paper bag from the pastry shop down the road. She tore into the scone hungrily and watched Olivia and Nick go to talk to the student in question.

"I'm gonna head for lunch, you wanna come with?" Munch walked up, handing her a fresh cup of coffee and a napkin.

Kari was about to say yes, but remembered the emails. Her appetite fell through the floor, and she dropped the rest of her scone onto the desk.

"I...I'm actually not hungry. I'll just wait for the guys to get back. In case they need anything else. At the very least I can try and dig up something else on the school." Barba walked into the office, and shot her a knowing look. "Completely legally and by the book, of course, Counselor." She batted her eyelashes at him and grinned. Barba scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"I'll bring you something back." Munch patted her shoulder and headed out for his lunch break. Kari lowered her head to the desk and sighed.

"Your affection for inanimate objects is starting to become a concern." Barba stated from beside her.

"They argue less. I recommend it. I used to think it was just a college phase, but...ugh forget it. I don't have enough energy for snark today."

"It can't be the case already. You've only been here half an hour." Kari took a sip of her coffee and made a face.

"It's not the case. It's...a personal matter. Nothing important, at least not to you." Kari felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw a new email alert. Her stomach rose into her throat. She threw her phone across the desk and let out a shaky breath.

"That might be considered domestic abuse, throwing it around like that." Barba's joke earned a dry chuckle. She took another sip of her coffee and almost gagged on it.

"I'm bringing my own coffee from now own." She stuck her tongue out at the cup.

"In all seriousness, anything you can find, legally mind you, would be a huge help. With how hard the school is fighting, the fact that all the victims waited this long to report. We're going to need some heavy artillery to win this." Barba tapped the desk and walked out. Kari sighed and glared at her phone.

She was looking through old school newsletters when Olivia and Nick came back. Rollins was interviewing a teacher that had come in to confess about his own relationships with students while Nick filled her in on the student meeting they had attended.

"Vincent's father confronted the school about it? What happened?" Kari asked.

"He said the school threatened to sue for defamation." Nick told her. Kari shook her head. Barba walked in then, and Olivia told him what Nick was just telling Kari.

"I'm not sure what you expect me to do with this. Legally, they have grounds."

"Go in and talk to the headmaster." Kari piped up. Barba looked at her, studying her for a moment. "A DA confronting the headmaster? In front of everyone? That's heavy artillery." Barba smirked at her and nodded. Kari couldn't help but smile at him as he walked out with Olivia.

"Oh, Grey." Barba walked back over to her. He handed her the coffee cup that was in his hand and walked back out. Kari took a sip of the pricey Cuban coffee and smiled before going back to scanning newsletters.

Kari convinced a squad car to drive her to a hotel that night. She paid the front desk attendant to make sure no one was allowed to come to her room, and barricaded the hotel door behind her. She laid in the bed with her gun in her hand. She didn't sleep.

The SVU squad was debating over the case around her, while she was reading through what seemed like endless boring newsletters, when she finally landed on something.

"Okay whoever's talking shut up. I think I've finally got something. Strepek, the teacher that Vincent told the school about? The school had a going away party for him a few years ago. He wasn't even sixty, and they retired him?" Barba leaned over her shoulder. The spicy cologne smell filled her nose. Her cheeks flushed slightly. "Two months later, he was hired at a charter school in Harlem." Cragen began barking orders at the squad, but the buzz from her phone distracted her. A text message this time from the blocked number.

**YOU CAN'T HIDE IN THAT POLICE STATION FOREVER, KIKI. I'VE MISSED YOU.**

Kari dropped her phone, letting it clatter to the floor. Barba's gaze shot to her. The rest of the squad had left the room. Barba bent and grabbed the phone. He glanced at the screen, then looked at her.

"Grey, what's this?" He took a seat next to her at the table. Kari snatched the phone from his hands and stood.

"N-nothing. Nothing." Kari forced a smile. "Just a joke from a friend." She tucked the phone into her pocket and walked away from him. She could hear Barba scoff and follow. He grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"Grey, it's my job to spot liars and you're a really bad one. If you're in trouble, I can help." His hand was still resting on her arm. He was surprisingly warm.

"This isn't the time or place for this discussion. I'll be fine. At least until this case is done. I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine." Kari patted the hand that was on her arm.

Kari walked to the bathroom and locked herself in the stall. The tears fell the second the door clicked behind her.

Jackson's voice rang in her memory. Screaming at her for burning food. Breaking a plate. When she got t-boned in an intersection and her car was totaled. She ran her hand over the scar on the back of her shoulder. A memento from the last time he had gotten angry.

"Kari? Liv is looking for you." Rollins called into the bathroom. Kari rubbed her nose with her hand.

"Coming!" Kari called in a sing-song voice, hoping to hide the crack. She checked her face in the mirror, trying her best to hide the fact she'd been crying.

"I just wanted to fill you in on what's happening. Barba is going to subpoena the school. You probably don't need to be here, if you wanna head home." Olivia was studying her face, like she could see the tears. Kari forced a smile and shook her head.

"I've got nothing better going on, hon. I'll hang around just in case." Olivia nodded slowly and patted her shoulder, but didn't say anything.

Kari was trying her best to focus on the trial, but her hand kept turning her phone over in her hand. Photos of her and the squad walking up the courthouse steps had been sent to her less than 5 minutes after they'd gotten here. He had to be right outside.

The bang of the gavel snapped her out of her own head. She looked around, everyone wandering out.

"Vincent Moran is going on the stand next. Where is he?" Barba asked no one in particular.

"He was jonesing for a smoke. I told him to take it outside." A bailiff told them. Barba huffed and walked off, searching for their witness.

They had Kari track his phone, an easy task since her laptop was with her. They found him, but he was high on cocaine and wasn't a viable witness anymore. Barba was pacing in front of her, muttering in Spanish. Kari's phone buzzed, another photo from Jackson. She shuddered and opened the picture. It was her bed, Valo curled up in the middle of the mattress, a knife laying next to him.

**LAST CHANCE TO PLAY BALL, KIKI. TEN MINUTES OR YOU LIVE ALONE.**

"I have to go." Kari jumped to her feet, knocking her chair over. She heard her name being called after her, but she ignored them.

She reached her apartment in record time, her front door wide open. She pulled her gun from her waist and stepped slowly through the door. She was about to turn to check behind the door when an arm flew into her face, knocking her back. A large hand grabbed her wrist, twisting it roughly with a snap. Her gun clattered to the floor. Her attacker twisted her own arm around her neck, a knife to her abdomen.

"There you are, KiKi." Jackson's deep voice growled in her ear. A shudder ran through her, memories flashing behind her eyes.

"What are you doing here, Jackson?" Kari swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice steady

"Ooh, New York gave you a big old attitude, didn't it?" Jackson turned the knife at her abdomen, poking a hole in her blouse.

"You wanted me gone. I left. Why are you here?" Kari tried to keep her voice hard and level. She wondered if she could grab her second gun from her ankle before he stabbed her. She decided to try and keep him talking, distract him.

"Oh, you were always the best behaved of all my girls. I didn't realize it til you were gone." He ran the knife across her hip slowly, the sharp edge breaking her skin like butter. She winced at the heat of the blood running down to her leg.

"Not interested." Kari said flatly, keeping her shoulders stiff, refusing to crack for him.

"Oh, I don't believe I asked for your opinion, Kiki."  
He laughed a high pitched laugh, pulling the knife away from her for a moment, producing his phone.

"You've been busy, KiKi. Made detective, then decided to slut it up with the whole of NYPD. I've got pictures of you whoring with four different guys." He scrolled through his photos idly, showing her in different random places. "What happened to you?!" He shouted in her ear. Jackson's voice still made her shiver, even after five years.

"I bettered my life, is what happened. I have some kind of life now. You literally threw me out the door to be with Allison. That was your choice, not mine." Kari wasn't sure where the sudden burst of courage was coming from. Jackson pressed the knife back to her skin, causing her courage to falter slightly. He saw this and laughed.

"Oh come on. I liked big bad detective KiKi. I've already worn out the old model." Without warning, he plunged the blade into her side and threw her away from him. Kari took the opportunity to grab her sidearm from her ankle and fired a shot in his direction. Her vision was fuzzy, but she heard him cry out. She could almost see her heartbeat around the edges of her vision, her burst of adrenaline tapering quickly before everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

Kari could hear Jackson talking, but she couldn't make out the words. He was yelling at someone.

"Let go of me. I didn't do anything. That bitch shot me. Arrest her. She fucking shot me!"

"Get him the hell out of here. Where's that bus?!" Was that Nick?

"Kari? Kari, can you hear me?" There was a hand on her cheek. Munch?

"She's going into shock. The ambulance is here." Olivia. Kari tried to smile. Someone was holding her hand.

"I'm gonna ride with her." She recognized the voice, but she couldn't place it. 

"Are you sure, Raf?" Who? Her brain was going foggy again. She felt herself being lifted. Someone was whispering stuff in Spanish. Everything went black again.

She cracked her eyes open, the bright white light blinding her. A low moan escaped her lips.

"You missed my come from behind win for this? You've got a weird idea of fun." Kari sighed and raised her eyes to meet Barba's.

"This is a typical night off for me. You should see what I do on holiday weekends." She laughed, then flinched from the pain in her side.

"This is what those texts were about, isn't it?" Kari sighed and nodded, lowering her gaze to her hands.

"Is he...Did I kill him? I honestly wasn't trying to." Kari wasn't sure why the thought of killing him made her uncomfortable.

"He's alive. You hit him in the leg. I think you've got worse damage than he does." He eyed the large red bandage on her abdomen.

"Oh this is nothing. Gimme two days and I'll be back on my feet like nothing. I've patched up worse at home with an old sewing needle." Kari chuckled dryly, wincing at the pain again.

"I'm surprisingly not reassured by that." Barba gave her a hard look. "Jackson is going to jail. They have the proof of stalking on his phone. He is trying to claim that you shot first, but I doubt anyone is going to believe that."

"Should I lawyer up, just in case?" Her eyes met his again, and he shot her a small smile. He put his hand on her bandaged arm gingerly.

"You're covered on that." Kari grinned and gave a false gasp.

"I don't think I can afford that." Before Barba could retort, the SVU squad banged into the room. Barba pulled his hand back in record time.

"She rallies! We thought we were gonna have to replace you before you even started." Amaro nudged her shoulder and she smiled.

"That would have been a new record." Rollins added, rubbing her arm gently. They all greeted her, and she smiled around at them, but noticed Barba slip out without a word. He was good at that.

"So why didn't you tell me what was going on, kiddo?" Munch was holding her hand. Kari looked away from him, feeling like she was being scolded by her father.

"I didn't wanna bother anybody. Everyone's so busy. I didn't wanna be a bother." 

Olivia grabbed her other hand and squeezed it gently.

"Kari, you're part of SVU now. You're not a bother. You're family." Kari fought the tears stinging her eyes and laughed.

"Oh great, that's just what I need. Amaro for a brother."

 

~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿

"Well, quite frankly, Grey, I don't care what you want. I care about doing my job!" Barba almost yelled. Kari huffed and threw her hands in the air.

"Well your 'job' is fucking annoying!" Kari threw her air quotes in his face. Barba rolled his eyes and looked over at Munch, who raised his hands in defeat.

"You have a law degree, Grey. You're a smart girl. Figure it out and get back to me." Barba stalked away from her. Kari let out a strangled yell and stomped over to her desk.

"Take it easy, kiddo. Barba only has so much pull around here." Munch rubbed her shoulder as he passed.

"How did Barba go from casual acquaintance that I respected to the bane of my existence in suspenders in a matter of a few months?" Kari let her head drop to the desk.

"Cuz you're both hard-headed know-it-alls." Olivia walked in, setting a cup of coffee in front of Kari. "From your sunny demeanor, I take it we've hit another wall in the case."

"More like concreted in place with no chisel. I'm out of leads." Kari took a deep swig of the coffee Olivia had brought her.

"Well you're smart. Is there any way to work in that grey area of yours?" Olivia wasn't looking at her, but Kari chuckled slightly.

"Off the record, I'll see what I can do."

Kari's phone rang about an hour later. She was absorbed in her work and didn't look at the caller ID.

"Grey." Kari barked into the phone.

"How official of you. I need you to come to my office." Barba's voice came through. Kari sighed audibly.

"You haven't gotten on my nerves enough for one day? I think I'm DA snark intolerant. I'll bring a doctor's note."

"As much as I love the sweet talk, it's not about your SVU case. It's about your case."

"My ca-" Kari's throat tightened slightly. "Jackson?" His name tasted bad in her mouth. Jackson had been in Riker's since the attack. She was trying not to think about him, just relishing the fact that he was under constant watch.

"I'd much rather discuss this in person. Have you eaten? I'll buy lunch." Barba's voice was marginally softer.

"Oh God, you're being nice. It's bad news. Damnit, I'll be right there." Kari ended the call and threw the phone down onto her desk.

"Everything all right, Kari?" Amanda walked over to Kari's desk, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Barba just called me in about...about my case." Kari couldn't say his name again. Amanda squeezed her shoulder gently, trying to reassure her. "I gotta head over to Barba's office. My phone's on if anything comes up." Kari threw her coat and bag over her shoulder and headed out the door.

Barba's secretary knocked on his door lightly. Barba called her in. Kari followed the secretary inside and saw Barba resting his feet on the top of his desk, scanning papers with his hand rested on his chin. He glanced up at her, waving his hand at the chair in front of his desk, but didn't speak. Kari slumps into the chair, throwing her feet over the arm, effectively laying across it.

"Please make yourself at home." Barba says flatly, half rolling his eyes. He grabs a large paper bag from the side of his desk, pulling out two cups of coffee and sandwiches.

"Oh it's never good when they open with food." Kari groans, dropping her head back. She grabbed a coffee and took a small sip. "Ugh, and you bought the good coffee. That's even worse!"

"I think I liked it better when you were shy." Barba sighed softly and straightened his shoulders, crossing his arms in front of him. His lawyer face fell into place and Kari felt her stomach tighten.

"Okay, jokes aside, what happened?" Kari sat up, holding the coffee between her hands.

"Weiss' attorney is pushing for psych as an out. He wasn't in his right mind, latched onto you for familiarity. His mother's death pushed him over the edge, and, and I'm quoting here, 'He felt that Grey was the only thing he had left.'" Barba pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before he continued. "They're also trying to use your months in therapy to call your shoot into question. PTSD?" Barba raised an eyebrow to her, but she didn't meet his gaze. "Grey, anything you tell me gives me an edge on this case. If it's there, they'll find it. I need to know!" He slapped the folder onto the desk, making her jump.

"I don't want to talk about this. Especially with you." Kari groaned.

"You don't have a choice in this. If you want to put him away-" Kari scoffed loudly and stood up.

"If? I've dreamt about putting him away for years. But instead, I ran. I ran from all of it, and what good did it do? What good is this going to do? He's just going to find me again. He's proven that." Kari rubbed her nose, fighting the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Barba stood and walked around the desk. He stepped in front of her, trying to grab her gaze.

"Grey, we can do this. You just have to talk to me. We need to get ahead of this as soon as we can. I will make sure..." Kari turned away from him, but he grabbed her arm. She flinched slightly, but didn't fight. "I will make sure he goes down for this." Kari turned her blue grey eyes to meet his hazel green ones. They weren't his hard lawyer eyes. They weren't his snarky DA eyes. They were soft and full of concern, something she'd only just started seeing. Kari sighed softly, breathing in his calming cologne. Her cheeks felt hot and she took a step toward him. This time Barba looked away, clearing his throat. He let go of her arm and motioned toward the chair.

"Let's go over what happened. Start from the beginning, take your time." Kari sighed, turning her flushed face away from him again. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. She took a swig of her coffee and sat down.

"This is a conversation for something longer than a lunch break, Counselor." Her voice was soft, coming out in a whisper.

"Take all the time you need."


	7. Chapter 7

~~~TRIGGER WARNINGS~~~

Specifically, this chapter talks about physical and sexual abuse. Please read with caution.

This whole chapter is in narrative format, while Kari tells her story to Barba. I find this chapter very cleansing, for personal reasons. I know it's dark, but getting it off my chest is cathartic.

 

After college, I moved back to Washington. My mom was sick, and she needed me. After a brain aneurysm, she had trouble doing things around the house, things like that. She never fully recovered after the surgery, but we did our best with what time we had left, however short. I wasn't the easiest child, so we weren't as close as I would have liked once I knew our time was getting shorter.

I got a job at the local precinct there in Leavenworth. It's a small, tourist trap of a town, but it was sweet. Everybody knew everybody kind of place. A far cry from where we are now, that's for sure. Maybe that's why I chose New York? But let's not get off topic.

I was still a greenie then. Hadn't even finished my beat cop stint. They usually had me on desk work. With how young I was, barely old enough to drink, I think they felt like they needed to protect me. Great job, fellas. It wasn't their fault, I know, but I still wish someone would have...I don't know, pushed harder? They'd ask if I was okay, I'd mumble a generic affirmative, and that was that. No one ever pushed.

I met Jackson Weiss there at the station. He was being held for a DUI after a street fair we'd had that week. They had checkpoints up and he got nabbed. He came in reeking of cheap beer and marijuana, with some underlying waft of too much Axe. He was almost 30, but you could never tell. Sandy brown hair flopping into his face, those bright blue eyes almost laughing at you all on their own.

I was the only woman at that station. It wasn't a sexist thing, just chance. There were less people on the whole town's police force than we have at the 1-6 alone. He gravitated to me almost instantly. Maybe he thought because I was small I was an easy target. Maybe he thought I could get him off if he...well, let's not go there. Maybe he was just bored, I don't really know. I try not to dwell on it too much. Try.

I was...flabbergasted seems to be the best word for it, that he was even looking at me. I'm not fishing for compliments, but I know what I look like. I'm not exactly runway model, to say the least. Even more so in those days. I was mousey and disheveled, clicking away at a computer screen with these big, black glasses. Textbook nerdy, and here was this...beautiful man and he was interested in me! It was almost fairytale.

The first few months we were together, everything was great. He was sweet, funny, even romantic once or twice. I met his parents, everything happened so fast, I could barely catch my breath.

When my mother passed is when things started to shift. We were putting her in the ground, and I fell apart. It was loud, and angry, and everyone was looking. I leaned on Jackson, and he stiffened. He grabbed the back of my neck, leaned down into my ear and growled at me for making a scene. He said I was embarrassing myself and him. His fingernails left four sharp bruises on the skin there for two weeks after that.

I told myself that he was right. I had been making a scene, and it was embarrassing. I told myself all the things it's now my job to tell victims not to think. It's my fault. I should know better. He loves me, he was just stressed. Blah blah blah.

We got married two months later. I still can't find any good reason as to why I did it. Maybe I thought things would be better if we were official. Maybe I wanted to feel special for at least a day. Maybe his mother's constant nagging was finally annoying enough to make me do it. We got married in the little church there in town, despite my asking for a beach wedding. I wore a huge puffy wedding dress despite my request for something simple and airy. I wore these ugly, pointy, high heeled monstrosities despite my begging for flats. But that was life with Jackson.

The first time he actually hit me, it was a Wednesday. It was raining, and we were having tomato soup for lunch. I still can't stomach the stuff. I brought him his food and stood by his side, waiting for his approval before I walked away. He looked at me, a hard glare on his face. He demanded to know why I was hovering, and I choked on my words. I wasn't sure what to say. He threw his balled hand into my face and told me to go away. I fell against the door to the pantry that was a few feet behind me, blood spraying down my face from the shocked gasp that fell from my lips.

I should have walked away right then, I know that. I should have taken what I could carry and walked right out the door. But all I could think was where would I go? Since being with Jackson, my friends were just his friends. My family was all on the other side of the country. My parents were both gone. What choice did I have?

I won't get into intimate details. If you ever want this to end, I can't. It got steadily worse after that. Slaps became punches became kicks. When that seemed like too lenient a punishment, weapons were a go to. I've got innumerable scars from his latent boredom. By the end I felt more like a battered dog than a woman. I was his pet, a convenient plaything that he pulled out when he was bored. He was seeing other women, using me when he was too tired to work for someone better.

One night at a party, I was standing by Jackson's side, keeping my eyes low to avoid him thinking I was flirting. One of Jackson's friends, I can't recall his name, came up and eyed me in a strange way. I gave him a short greeting, but didn't look at his face. He said something I didn't hear to Jackson, who let out a loud, drunken laugh. I saw the friend hand him a wad of money. Jackson grabbed the back of my neck and led me inside the house.

We went down to the basement, the lights were dim. Jackson threw me down onto the work bench that was against the far wall. He told me to get naked, and I slid off my dress with shaking hands. Three men were in the room by then, standing in the shadows with small smiles.

I don't know how many men were there by the end. I think I blacked out after a while. I just remember Jackson throwing me into the shower stall that was in the basement bathroom. After that, it became a sporadic source of income.

One night, after spending a few days locked in a closet for doing whatever I had done to upset him, he drags me out. My neighbor, Allison, was standing in the doorway wearing little more than she was born with. Her eyes were wide, but she didn't speak. He cut the ties from my hands and threw me across the floor. I stood shaking, my knees weak from lack of use. He grabbed my arm and drug me across the room, throwing me into the wall by the door. The mirror on the wall shattered. I felt warm blood pooling on my shoulder. He threw my coat at me and told me to get out. That he was tired of playing and found a better model. He grabbed Allison by the back of her back and pulled her to his side. I winced at her forced smile, but didn't speak. I just ran. I ran to the other side of the country. I changed my phone number. I avoid all social media. I haven't spoken to anyone from that part of my life since then. I just wanted it all over.

When the nightmares got too bad, I went to therapy for a few months. It helped for a while, but reliving it once a week just became too...too much.

Two years I dealt with that man, Rafael. Two years I suffered through everything with my mouth shut. I refuse to do it again. Whatever it takes, I want him to go down for this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of fluff after the last heavy chapter.

Barba was sitting up like there was a metal rod stuffed down his shirt. His perched fingers were pressed against his lips, which were pursed in a hard line.

Kari let out a shuddering breath and stared at the empty coffee cup in her hands. She threw the cup into the trash bin so forcefully she knocked the bin over. She let out a groan and let her head fall back. She started to stand, but Barba raised a hand.

"Leave it." His voice was so low she almost didn't hear him.

"I've got it." Kari stooped down, gathering the balled up papers and too many coffee cups. Barba grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet.

"Kari, leave it." Kari raised an eyebrow and smirked at him.

"So you do know my first name." Kari chuckled lightly.

"It's on enough of my paperwork. I was bound to pick it up eventually." Barba returned her smile before releasing her hands. He cleared his throat and took a step away from her. He glanced at his watch and loosened his tie. "I think that's enough for one day, Detective." Kari sighed and grabbed her jacket roughly.

"Sorry for taking up so much of your time, Counselor." She hissed the last word and stomped toward the door.

"Kari!" Barba called to her. She stopped at the door, her hand on the knob. She felt Barba's eyes on her back. She knew he was right behind her. She could smell his cologne.

"Detective Grey, Mr. Barba." Her voice was hoarse from the threatening tears.

"Kari. We're off the clock. Rafael and Kari." She turned to face him. His gaze was gentle, almost nervous.

"Okay, Rafael." She rolled the "R" slightly. Barba smirked at her.

"It's after dinner time. Are you hungry? You didn't eat much of your lunch." Barba opened the door for her. She felt his hand hover over the small of her back, but he apparently decided against it.

"Oh my, Counselor. Are you asking me on a date?" She fanned her self dramatically with an overdone Southern accent. "Well, I must clutch my pearls." Barba rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Mi dios, you are difficult." Barba sighed.

"It's part of my charm, señor." They walked out onto the sidewalk and Kari pulled a cigarette from her jacket.

"How can you smoke those balas?" Barba wrinkled his nose.

"Balas?" Kari raised an eyebrow and exhaled her smoke up in the air.

"Cigarettes. Sorry, Cuban slang."

"Ah. I can put it out if it bothers you." Barba waved his hand.

"You're a grown woman. Kill yourself however you see fit." Kari rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"We're all dying, querido. Fact of every life is there's always an end. I plan to live mine my way." Barba didn't reply, just a soft hum.

They walked to a small diner near her apartment. She waved at the waitress behind the counter, Jenny, before slipping into a booth.

"Since you bought lunch, dinner is on me, okay?" Kari pulled her hair up into a quick bun, blowing a stray hair out of the face.

"Don't even think it, Grey." Barba gave her a lawyer glare and Kari couldn't help but chuckle.

"This is feeling more and more like a date, Counselor." Kari stretched the last word with a smirk.

"I told you, off the clock. Call it what you want, Detective." Barba imitated her tone, but smiled. Kari cleared her throat, trying to fight the heat rising to her cheeks.

"Hey there, Carebear. You're here late. Usual for you, honey?" Jenny, the waitress, brought her a cup of coffee and a glass of water.

"Sounds good, Jen. I recommend any of the pasta, Barb- Rafael." Kari corrected herself. Barba smiled and handed the menu back to Jenny.

"Whatever she's getting is fine with me. Gracias." Jenny gave Barba a wide smile and winked at Kari. Kari laughed behind her hand, hiding her face.

"Carebear? Is that an official alias?" Barba said with a chuckle.

"Don't you dare!" Kari pointed at him menacingly. Barba laughed loudly at her and raised his hands in defense.

"Fair enough. I get it. My mom still calls me Rafi. There, you've got one on me." Kari smiled at his sharing.

"So, we've talked enough about me for a lifetime tonight. What about you, Counselor? Aside from being a Cuban smart ass, what else should I know?"

"Cuban smart ass. I think I like that better than Coun-se-lor." He dragged the word, earning a laugh from Kari. Her cheek dimples made him smile.

"So come on, smart ass. Tell me about you." She nudged his hand with hers.

"Nothing interesting to tell, really. Grew up in the slums, scholarship into Harvard. Not nearly as impressive as you."

"Are you finally admitting that my Yale education is passable?" Kari faked a long gasp.

"Barely. Hair's breadth." Jenny came with their food, so the conversation slowed.

"I love this place. Been coming her almost every day since I moved to Manhattan. The coffee isn't nearly as good as that Cuban stuff you drink, but loads better than that break room garbage." Kari wrinkled her nose at the thought. Barba smirked and nodded.

"I get it from this little bodega on the east side. Owned by this tiny little abuelita. She calls me Roman every time I go in. I don't have the heart to correct her." Kari couldn't help the wide smile that was creeping onto her face.

"That's...adorable." Kari laughed. Barba sighed and rolled his eyes. "I mean that as a compliment, truly. Not a side of you I would picture. So tell me more. Do you have any hidden talents? Hobbies?"

"I'm not as interesting as you seem to think, Grey. Sorry to disappoint." Barba shrugged, picking at his food.

"I think you're very interesting, Rafael." Kari stated pointedly. "You're probably the most incredible prosecutor I've ever seen. I could never do what you do."

"Wow...ummm...thank you, Kari." Barba was almost blushing. She said it so casually, like it was no big deal, but her appraisal made his chest swell with pride. "What about you. Hidden talents, hobbies, deep dark secrets?"

"You've caught me, Counselor. I'll tell you where I hid the bodies!" Kari pretended to sob, dropping her head onto the table with a heavy thud.

"You're hilarious." Barba stated deadpan, rolling his eyes.

"Umm, I play music. I love music. I just get too shy to play in front of people." Kari decided she was full, pushing her plate to the side.

"What instrument? Wait, let me guess..." Barba grabbed her hand, studying her fingers. Kari tried not to react at the warmth of his hand on hers. "I'm going to guess piano." He let go of her hand and looked at her.

"Good guess. Violin, too. I'm trying to learn guitar, but I never have the time to practice anymore." Barba raised his eyebrows at her and nodded.

"You are...you are too modest." Barba stated matter-of-factly. He took a sip of his coffee. Jenny walked over to the table to refill their cups then.

"I keep telling her the same thing. I tell her all the time. I tell her, 'Carebear, you are too good for this city.' She just laughs, but it's true. All the people she saves all day. All that charity stuff. I don't know how she found the time to nab up a cute little date like you." Jenny winked at them before walking away. Kari hid her face in her hands and laughed.

"Well the food is good, but the wait staff definitely sell this place for me." Barba laughed lightly. He dropped money onto the table, far more than the bill, and slid out of the booth. He extended his hand to help Kari to her feet.

"Such a gentleman." Kari chuckled, taking his hand. He squeezed her fingers gently and smiled.

"Mi abuelita would have my head otherwise. Come, I'll walk you home." Barba offered her his arm, and she took it with a small smile.

"Tu abuelita sounds like a smart woman." Kari stated, following him out the door.

"My father was...absent when I was growing up. Mami and abuelita raised me. I like to think I turned out okay." Kari chuckled and rocked her head back and forth for a moment, like she was thinking about the response.

"Yeah, I guess you're all right. When you're not riding my ass." Kari nudged him with her hip. Barba chuckled and shrugged.

"I'll take what I can get." Kari slowed to a stop in front of her building. Barba looked at her questioningly.

"This is my stop, Rafael. Gotta get off." Kari's voice was soft, nervous. Barba smiled and nodded.

"You have horrible taste in apartments. This building is awful." Barba took a step toward her, standing directly in front of her.

"Yeah, I have a history of it. Umm, attorney/client privilege applies to our conversation this afternoon, correct?" Barba looks shocked for a moment and closed his eyes.

"Even if it didn't, I wouldn't...I would never..." Kari felt bad for saying anything. She took his hand and squeezed it lightly.

"Thank you." Kari whispered, looking at their hands. "And thanks for walking me home." She took a step toward her building. Barba didn't release her hand. She turned back to face him, and he put a hand on her cheek gently.

"You just tell me and I'll stop." Barba's whisper was warm on her face. The smell of his cologne surrounded her. She was almost dizzy.

Kari didn't give him a chance to make his move. She pressed her lips to his softly, sliding her hand to his shoulder. Barba's fingers slid across her cheek, brushing into her hair.

Barba pulled back much too soon, running his thumb along her cheek. Kari giggled softly and chewed on her bottom lip.

"I think it's time to say good night, Detective." Barba whispered, his forehead still pressed to hers, his hand still on her cheek.

"Objection." Kari pressed her lips to his again, his laugh lost in her mouth. Kari pulled away this time, not trying to give Barba the wrong idea.

"Okay, I'll allow it, but you're on thin ice." Barba said with a laugh when she pulls away.

"Thank you for tonight, really." Kari held onto his hand for a moment, letting their hands swing between them.

"I'll need you to come in to sign a few things tomorrow, maybe we can have lunch?"

"Two dates in a row. Mi dios, Counselor, aren't you bold?" Kari smiled at him.

"Part of my charm." He brought Kari's hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles once before releasing her hand. "Good night, Carebear." Kari laughed and walked up her stairs.

"Buenos noches, Rafi!" Kari called. She heard him scoff before she closed the door.


	9. Chapter 9

Kari was smiling when she woke the next morning. She rolled over and looked at her phone, checking the time. A new text message was waiting for her from a number she didn't recognize. Her stomach tightened into a huge knot.

_I realized I didn't give you my personal cell number. Buenos dias, Carebear._

Kari let out a sigh and rolled her eyes. It was Barba. She typed a quick reply as she got undressed for a shower.

_Good morning to you, too. You keep this up, I'll get you a new name plate for your desk, Rafi. ;-)_

She took a shower and got dressed quickly before she grabbed her phone.

_I got you something. I knocked but you didn't answer. Late for a meeting, but it's in front of the door._

Kari raised an eyebrow and walked to the door. A paper bag was sitting on her welcome mat. She brought it inside and set it on the counter to open it. Inside were two bags of coffee grounds with a Spanish word she didn't recognize emblazoned on the front. Kari let out a loud laugh and shook her head. She pulled out her phone.

_You keep this up, you're going to spoil me. Let me pay you for the coffee._

She started prepping a pot of coffee. She pulled her big thermos from under the sink. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

_No way, querida. I can't have that. I don't need abuelita after me. Still on for lunch?_

_You txt like you talk you know. Punctuation all perfect and everything. I can picture your msgs wearing suspenders. I'll txt you when I'm omw._

Kari had a huge grin on her face the whole walk into the office. She all but skipped to her desk, the smile never leaving her face.

"You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth. What's got you so giddy?" Munch was leaning back at his desk.

"Nothing you wanna know about, John. I promise." She dropped into her chair and smirked. Munch rolled his eyes and waved his hands at her.

"Let's leave it at that. Please."

"Ooh, I know that look. You better spill!" Amanda walked in and grabbed her hands, giggling like a teenager.

"Nothing to spill. Just...had a good night last night." Kari tried to be nonchalant, but Amaro wolf whistling in the corner didn't help.

"I didn't see you after lunch. What happened at Barba's?" Amanda asked, walking to her desk.

"Statements for the case. They're trying for a psych defense, of course." Kari rolled her eyes and sighed. "I'd really rather not talk about it. It'll ruin my good mood."

"Consider it ruined. Grey, you and Rollins head to Bellevue. Vic is on her way. She's not even 10." Benson hung up the phone and looked around the room. Kari's eyes went wide and she lowered her head with a shake.

"On it, boss." Kari said glumly, dropping her bag into her chair.

"So now that we aren't around the boys, spill. Date or just a hookup?" Amanda turned the corner out of the parking lot.

"Detective Rollins!" Kari laughed. "No hookup, no naughty things. Just...a really good date." Kari grinned in spite of herself, thinking about the kiss she'd shared with Barba the night before, the cute little texts this morning.

"Aren't you just smitten! Look at you, you're mooning over there. What's his name?" Amanda nudged her shoulder.

"Mind your business, nosey! I'm not...ready to share the news yet. I'm not even sure if there is news yet. Just a really good date and a really, really good kiss." Kari sighed and Amanda was absolutely tittering. "Dios mio, how old are you?" Kari laughed.

"Well that's new. At least we know he's Hispanic. It's all coming together..." Amanda tapped her chin like she was thinking.

"I already speak Spanish, thank you very much." Kari stuck out her tongue. They pulled into the hospital parking lot, dropping all the horseplay and getting back to the case.

"Detective Grey, this is Detective Rollins. We're with SVU. We're looking for a Lindsey Marcello?" Kari flashed her badge to the nurse at the station. The nurse scrolled through her computer for a moment before directing them toward the room.

A small, olive-skinned girl was sitting on the bed, her legs pressed to her chest. She had bandages next to her eye, on her chin and around her arm. An older Hispanic woman, Kari assumed her mother, was sitting next to the bed, rubbing the girl's hand. Kari sighed and walked into the room.

"Mrs. Marcello? My name is Detective Grey, this is Detective Rollins. We're with SVU. Do you mind if we talk to your daughter for a moment?"

"Who would do this to her? She's just a baby!" Mrs. Marcello grabbed Kari's hands and started crying against her, yelling in Spanish. Kari rubbed the woman's back, whispering comfort in Spanish, trying to calm the distraught mother down. After a few moments, Mrs. Marcello sat down and let them talk to her daughter. Amanda took the mother aside, taking a statement from her.

"Lindsey, my name is Kari. I'm with the police. Can we ask you a few questions?" The young girl nodded slowly, wrapping her arms tighter around her knees. "Thanks so much. How old are you, Lindsey?"

"9 and a half." The small girl's voice cracked. Kari's heart broke just the smallest bit.

"9 and a half, wow! You're a big girl." Kari took a seat next to her on the bed gently. "So, Lindsey, can you tell me how you got all the bandages?"

"I...I can't remember. It's all fuzzy." The girl ran her hand over her knees.

"Okay, can you tell me the last thing you remember before things got all fuzzy?" Kari's hand rested on the hospital bed. Lindsey wrapped her fingers around Kari's hand and nodded.

"I was at soccer practice. We meet every Thursday at the park. We had just finished, and I was sitting on the bench. I was just running a lot! I was catching my breath, taking a drink from my water bottle. A few minutes later, I was walking home. It isn't far. Mommy lets me walk by myself. I got to the newsstand and started feeling funny. My head was fuzzy and I kept tripping. That's...that's all I remember." Lindsey squeezed Kari's fingers and lowered her head. Kari rubbed the girl's hand gently.

"That was very brave, _mija_. Can you tell me, do you remember anyone hanging around practice that didn't...didn't really need to be there? Someone that isn't a family member or one of the coaches? Or someone you hadn't seen there before?" Lindsey raised her head and looked up, thinking.

"I remember...I remember seeing a homeless guy. He was rummaging through the trash bins. He was eating out of the trash stuff. I ran over and gave him the orange mommy had given me. I felt bad."

"That was very sweet of you, Lindsey. Did you notice anything special about him? Any scars, tattoos, anything?"

"He did. He had a tattoo on his hand. It had cursive writing on it. It said Michelle. We just started learning cursive at school."

Kari thanked the mother and daughter and walked out to talk to the doctor.

"There is evidence of sexual contact. Bruising and tearing of vaginal tissue. No fluids, though." The doctor sighed.

"Of course not. That'd be too easy." Kari pinched the bridge of her nose. "Thanks, doctor. Rollins, let's go for a walk in the park."


	10. Chapter 10

"Excuse me, sir?" Kari walked up to a homeless man rummaging through the trash cans in the park. He eyed her suspiciously, taking a step back from her. His dark eyes squinted at her.

"I ain't doing nothing wrong." He was ready to take off. Kari raised her hands.

"I know you're not, hon. You're not in trouble, I promise. I just need to ask you a few questions. Is that all right?" Kari motioned to the nearby bench. "My name is Kari. What's yours?" The disheveled man nodded slowly.

"Kevin. Kevin Weston." Kari extended her hand, and he shook it slowly. Kari noticed the tattoo on his hand. Michelle.

"Here, have some coffee." Kari pulled her thermos from her bag. Kevin gave her a small smile and took it gratefully.

"You're a police officer, right?" He asked after a moment. Kari nodded.

"I'm a detective with special victims. I just have a few questions for you. Do you remember seeing this little girl with her soccer team yesterday?" She held out the school photo Lindsey's mother had given her. Kevin looked at it for a moment and nodded.

"She was nice. Gave me her orange. Oh no, is she dead?" Kevin dropped his head. Tears sprung up into his eyes. Kari put a hand on his shoulder.

"No, she's alive, but someone hurt her. She's in the hospital." Kevin let out a breath and sniffled.

"Oh thank goodness. Hey, I never hurt that girl. I could never!" Kevin went on the defensive, but Kari shook her head.

"You're not in trouble, Kevin. I just need to know if you saw anything that could help us find the person who did. Did you see anything suspicious?" Kevin let out a breath and thought for a moment.

"Honestly, I don't remember anything. She was there with her team, her coaches. Her dad, I assume it was her dad, stopped by. Big Italian guy. She ran up and hugged him when she saw him. Then she came back to the benches, took a drink of water, and gave me the orange. First thing I'd eaten in days." Kevin sighed slightly.

"Do you have someplace to sleep tonight? It's supposed to rain." Kari felt bad for the guy. He couldn't have been more than 25.

"I'll get by. Thank you for the coffee, it's incredible." He started to hand back the thermos, but she pushed it back into his hands. She pulled a card for the homeless shelter near her house.

"Go talk to Rachel. Tell her Kari sent you. She'll make sure you're fed." Kari wrapped a twenty around the card and placed it in his hands. "So who's Michelle?" Kevin wiped his eyes and smiled.

"My daughter. She is about that little girl's age. When I was discharged, my wife kicked me out. Couldn't handle the nightmares I had. I haven't seen her in two years." Kari gave him a quick hug.

"You've been immensely helpful. Thanks so much."

Rollins was leaning against the car, watching the exchange. Kari had a kind heart. She hoped they could trust her judgement on this guy. Kari walked back over to the car, waving one more time to the homeless man.

"No way he's our guy. But he did see another man talk to her. Thinks it might have been the father. She hugged him, excited to see him." Kari opened the car door, waiting for Rollins to get in.

"Let's go talk to the mother, then. Let's see where daddy was yesterday."

¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~¿~

"How can you be so sure it wasn't the hobo?" Amaro asked, leaning against Kari's desk.

"I'm a good read on people. He's a vet, he's got a kid, he's harmless. If we need him, I know where to find him. I just don't think he's the guy. Any luck finding the father?" Munch walked over then, shrugging.

"We've got an address, but no answer at the door yet. His name is Dominic Marcello. Owns half a dozen strip clubs all over the city."

"Isn't he the guy who owns the Emerald Stallion in Brooklyn?" Kari asked. Amaro and Munch both raised their eyebrows at her. "Don't judge me!" Kari laughed, pulling a ringing phone from her pocket. It was Barba.

"Grey." Kari tried to remain professional in front of her co-workers.

"So formal. I like it. Can I steal you for lunch?" Kari could hear the smirk in his voice. She couldn't help but smile.

"No, hon. I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to work through lunch. I don't even know when I'm going to be going home tonight. Long story. I'll text you?" Barba sighed.

"I understand. Text me later." She said her goodbyes and hung up the phone.

"Ooh, the mystery boyfriend." Amaro chuckled. Kari rolled her eyes.

"Jealous, Nicky?" Kari winked and laughed. Amaro looked away from her, blushing slightly.

"Grey, I need you in here please." Olivia called from Cragen's office.

"As ordered, boss lady." Kari saluted from the doorway.

"We can't find the vic's father, but we have a phone number. Could you trace it for me, please?" Olivia handed her a post it note. Kari grabbed it and nodded.

"Consider it done, Liv. Anything else?"

"I'm glad to see you're dealing with things so well. Any news on the Weiss case?" Olivia leaned back slightly, watching her carefully.

"Psych defense, of course. They're trying to use my therapy a few years ago to call the shoot into question. Ra-Barba's all over it, though. Things should be fine. He's solid, I trust him." Kari fought the grin threatening to crawl onto her face when she thought about him.

"Well we're behind you, whatever you need. I heard you say you're working through lunch. No you aren't. Get out of here as soon as you're fine with the phone. Go, eat, get some air. Go see that mystery boyfriend I keep hearing about." Olivia waved her out of her office with a small smile. Kari chuckled and nodded.

"Right away, boss. Thanks, Liv." Kari smiled and pulled out her phone as she was walking out. She shot a quick text to Barba.

Change of plans. Meet me at the diner in 20? ;-)

She was leaning against the wall by the door of the diner they'd eaten at the night before, smoking a cigarette. She spotted him round the corner and a wide grin spread across her face. He looked up and returned the smile, which made her stomach flutter.

" _Hola, preciosa._ How'd you get away?" Barba hugged her for a moment, then took her hand.

"Liv's orders, actually. I think they're worried about the case and everything." Kari waved at the waitress and slid into the booth.

"Understandably so. You're...you're taking it a lot better than any of us expected you would."

"I'd rather not talk about that." Kari waved her hands in front of her face, as if she was swatting the words away.

"Okay, so tell me about today's case." Barba thanked the waitress for the coffee she brought over.

"Oh, gosh. That's not any better. 9 year old girl, drugged and abused on her way home from soccer practice." Kari shook her head.

"Oof, yeah that's bad. Any leads?"

"Interviewed a witness, homeless guy at the park. He saw the dad with her just before it all happened, so we're looking for the dad."

"Why didn't you bring the homeless guy in?" Barba was scanning her with his lawyer eyes.

"Because he didn't do it." Kari stated simply. Barba scoffed.

"When did these psychic powers develop?"

"Come on, Rafael. You know I can read people. I know he didn't do it."

" _Lo siento, querida,_ but I don't think that's your call to make. I think you should bring him in."

"Well, I don't know when you became the boss of me, but this isn't your case and it's not your call." Kari's temper flared, and Barba sighed.

"Okay, maybe let's not talk shop. Forget I said anything."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to snap at you. It's just really sad. The girl's adorable, too. A little sweetheart. Her dad is Dominic Marcello."

"The strip club guy?" Barba asked immediately. Kari laughed while Barba's gaze dropped to the table.

"A frequent customer, then?" Barba's face went red, causing Kari to laugh harder. She put her hand over his.

"Yes, that's him. We can't find him. Liv's got me on it when I get back." Kari pushed her plate away.

"You don't eat much, do you?" Barba she'd, motioning toward her barely half eaten sandwich. Kari shrugged.

"Not lately." Barba sighed and took her hand, bringing her fingers to his lips.

"Don't worry so much, _hermosa_. We'll get him. Come on, I'll walk you back." Barba helped her to her feet, tossing a few bills onto the table.

Kari rested her head on Barba's shoulder for a moment and sighed.

"Are you sure it's safe to be seen with me like this? People are going to talk." Kari said with a laugh. Barba pressed a kiss to her head and smiled.

"Yeah, they're asking what the hell that pretty young thing is doing with that old man." Kari scoffed and shook her head. "If you're asking if this is a secret, the answer is no. I don't usually announce my personal life to my colleagues, but I know things are close over there. If you feel the need, go ahead."

"Eh, let them talk." Kari slowed in front of the precinct, letting go of Barba's arm.

"Text me when you're leaving. If it isn't too late, we can have dinner." Barba kissed her hand and smiled.

A black SUV pulled up in front of the building then. A large Italian man stepped out, an angry look on his face. Kari stepped in front of Barba defensively.

"My name is Dominic Marcello. I'm looking for Detective Kari Grey."

"You found her. Can I help you?" Kari pulled out her badge.

"I wanna know what happened to my daughter." Marcello demanded, his fist clenched.

"Let's take this inside, follow me." Kari motioned toward the building. Barba raised his eyebrows at her, but Kari waved him off. "We'll talk later, Counselor."


	11. Chapter 11

"What the hell happened to my daughter?!" Marcello slammed his fists on the table.

"All right, take it easy, sir. Take a breath." Kari straightened herself in her chair.

"Don't tell me to take it easy, little girl. Are you even old enough to be a cop?" Marcello asked, his thick accent slurring his words.

"If you'd like to speak to one of my senior officers, I'd be more than happy..."

"No, Maria said you were the one that talked to Lindsey. The only one she'd talk to." Kari's eyes widened slightly, but she cleared her throat.

"Well if you want to talk to me, you're going to need to calm. Down. Sir." Kari pointed to the chair in front of her. "A witness saw you at the park with Lindsey that day. Her mother says you were only allowed supervised visits. So what were you doing there?"

"I have work obligations the day I'm supposed to see her. I was coming to apologize. I only saw her for maybe a minute then I left. She was fine when I left." Marcello lowered his head to his hands. "Who would hurt my baby like that?"

"I'm very sorry, sir. Believe me." A knock came to the window. Kari excused herself and walked out of the room.

"We brought in the newsstand guy for questioning, but he doesn't look good for it. Any ideas?" Olivia leaned against the two way glass. Kari sighed and ran her hand through her hair. Rollins walked up and handed Olivia a sheet of paper.

"Background on the homeless guy. Kevin Weston was never a vet. Arrested four different times all along the coast for statutory rape and possession of child pornography." Rollins looked at Kari for a moment, but didn't say anything. Kari dropped her head and heaved a sigh.

"Liv, we've got a second vic. Three blocks from here. Parking lot of a homeless shelter." Nick called.

"No, damnit, I gave him the card!" Kari punched the wall.

"Grey, go with Nick." Kari took off out the door, not even grabbing her coat.

They walked to the crime scene, a crowd gathered around it.

"SVU, get out of the way. Rachel, what happened?" Kari walked over to the woman who ran the shelter, a small old black woman, at least a head shorter than Kari.

"Oh, Kari, I don't know what happened. I came out the door and one of the men that had come in was hovering over Kimmy. Oh, that poor baby..." Kari dropped her head. She told Rachel to sit tight and walked over to the crime scene.

The small body was covered by a blue sheet. Kari sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Kimberly Franks, 8 years old. Clear signs of sexual trauma. No fluids. COD was blunt force trauma to the back of the head. He slammed her against the pavement. Luckily, she was a fighter. Got DNA from under the fingernails and in her mouth. She got a bite out of him." The medical examiner told her. Kari thanked him and stepped away. Nick walked over and put a hand on her arm.

"You all right, kiddo?" Nick rubbed her arm gently.

"I came here every weekend to teach her piano. I found the family sleeping behind the dumpster at my apartment. Dad died a few weeks later. It was just her and...oh my gosh, Ramona!" Kari sighed heavily.

"Let's get back to the precinct." Nick put his hand on the small of her back and led her away.

"DNA off Kimberly's body is going to match what's on file for Weston. At this point, it's just a matter of finding him." Olivia pointed to the photograph on the board.

"Is that the fucker who hurt my baby?!" Marcello stormed toward the board, but Amaro grabbed him and held him back.

"All right, take it easy, take it easy." Nick led him back toward the exit.

"That bitch said she'd catch him and now that little girl is dead. Do your fucking job, you stupid kid!" Marcello yelled as he was pulled out the door. Kari lowered her head, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Hey, no one blames you, Kar. He's just upset. This isn't your fault." Rollins rubbed her back gently.

"You're wrong. I blame me!" Kari stood up quickly, her chair falling over from the force. "I let that guy get in my head, and now Kimmy's dead. I have to look into her mother's eyes this weekend and tell her I had the guy that killed the last remaining member of her family and I let him walk." Kari punched her desk and huffed.

"All right, Grey. You're done for the day. Take a walk. Get some air." Kari started to protest, but Olivia raised a hand, pointing to the door. "Go." Kari sighed and grabbed her coat, kicking her chair out of her way as she passed.

Kari stomped out to the elevator, nearly running someone down as she went.

"While I was hoping to run into you, this isn't what I had in mind. Hey, what's wrong?" Barba was holding her arms, rubbing them gently.

"I was sent home. I need to get out of here. Were you here for a reason or can I steal you away?" Kari sniffed gently, fighting the tears behind her eyes.

"Nothing as important as you needing me, cariña. Let's go." Barba took her hand and led her into the elevator.

Barba hailed a cab, but she didn't know where they were going. She didn't care, really. She just wanted to get away. Away from work. Away from the siren lights she could see flashing down the road. Away from the little girl who's mother would never see her daughter become a woman.

Kari let her head fall back against the seat of the taxi. She let out a long breath.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Barba asked gently. Kari shook her head slowly. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his arms.

"Where are we going?" Kari cleared her throat, attempting to stop her voice from cracking.

"Dinner, if you're inclined to eat. At my apartment. Or, I can take you home. It's up to you, querida." He linked his fingers with hers.

"I'm fine with that. I can't promise I'll eat, but I'm happy to join you." Barba noticed that Kari's voice was flat, almost mechanical. He kissed the top of her head softly, letting the silence fill the car.


	12. Chapter 12

This chapter will be from Barba's point of view, still third person, though.

Her eyes were dark. They'd been getting steadily darker over the last few months, but now they were dark. The steely blue looked more grey, stormy and morose. They mirrored the melancholy she'd been trying, skillfully mind you, to hide from everyone. But he saw it all.

Kari was a bright girl, not just in mind, but in personality. Her skill in psychology wasn't lost on him. She could read a person's mood, emotional state, just by looking at their face. She had a masterful skill of cheering up even the most downtrodden person in the room, despite the darkness she carried with her all the time.

The cab stopped at the curb in front of his building. The doorman rushed over and opened the taxi for him. He slipped the man a bill and held his hand out to Kari. She took it with a small smile and let herself be led to the elevator.

Barba knew his apartment was impressive, even if he didn't spend much time at it. Large bookshelves set into the walls on either side of a floor to ceiling window overlooking the city below.

Kari didn't speak when they walked in. She walked over to the bookshelves, examining them with mild interest, as if she were bored. Barba took off his coat and hung it up, watching her.

"Not much...variety." Kari motioned toward the books, all along the same vein of law.

"I told you I wasn't very interesting." He walked slowly to her side, looking at the shelves as well. Kari shrugged and looked at her hands, picking at invisible dirt under her fingernail.

"If you want to go, tell me and I'll take you wherever you want." His voice was soft as he took her hands in his, gentle, worried. She raised her eyes to meet his, and they were dark. This time, it wasn't a melancholy, sad darkness. Her eyes were full of desire, eying his lips with intensity.

"Take me to bed." Was all she said before throwing herself against him, her lips hungry and hot. He stumbled back against the wall, and she took this opportunity to wrap herself around him. Her fingers knotted into his hair, one leg wrapped around his hip, pinning him to the wall.

When her mouth left his to travel down to his neck, he took the chance to breathe and assess the situation. Yes, this sweet, sexy young woman was literally throwing herself at him. Yes, he'd wanted her for longer than he'd care to admit. Yes, his pants were growing tighter with every lick and bite she planted on his skin. But it was wrong.

"Kari...ah, Kari slow down." Barba pulled her back slightly and stepped around her. Kari's face fell slightly. She wrapped her arms around her waist.

"I...I'm so sorry." Kari started toward the door. Barba grabbed her arm.

"Please...I'm sorry. Please don't go." He pulled her to his chest, hugging her tightly. "Don't get the wrong idea. You're beautiful, and of course...of course I want you. But now isn't the time."

"I don't understand." Kari looked into his face and he gave her a small smile.

"You're upset, please don't give me that mask you give everyone else. I read you better than that." Kari chuckled and shook her head.

"You know me too well, querido. That's dangerous." Kari sighed and stepped away. "I'll get out of your way, then." She straightened her shirt and stepped toward the door again.

"You don't have to. I...I don't want you to." Barba was suddenly embarrassed. He could feel his face flushing and he looked at the floor. Kari laughed and took his hand.

"Then I won't." She kissed his lips gently and nuzzled into his chest.

"Come on, I'll find you something to wear." He led her to the bedroom. Kari sat on the edge of his large bed, crossing her knees.

"Your apartment is lovely." Kari commented, looking around the room.

"I try, thank you. I don't spend much time here. Not as much as I would like." He pulled a faded t-shirt and plaid sleep pants and tossed it to Kari. She caught them and smirked, shaking her head. Before she could make the snark remark Barba knew was on her tongue, her phone rang. Kari let out a long sigh and fell back onto his bed.

"Grey." Her voice was noticeably sharp. "Yeah, yeah I'm coming." Kari dropped the phone and sighed again.

"Come on, I'll take you back to the precinct." Barba took her hand and pulled her to her feet.

"I think I've got a minute." Kari looked at him, the shine of lust back in her eyes. Barba shook his head.

"Nice try, let's go." He kissed her forehead and pulled her to his side. Kari chuckled and buried her face into his neck.

"You're such a tease! Fine, let's go. Munch didn't say what it was about, just that I should come back in." The elevator doors closed, and Kari leaned against the back. She let her head fall against the wall and closed her eyes. Barba noticed she looked her age, then. Possibly even older. He was wary about a relationship with someone so much younger. She didn't seem like it now. She seemed...tired.

The elevator slid open and Kari let out a breath and smiled. Suddenly, the age was gone. She looked bright, her old self.

"How do you do that?" Barba asked when they climbed into the cab. Kari raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Do what?" Barba chuckled and shook his head.

"That weird switch flip thing, just right back to bright shiny penny?"

"Years of practice, cariño." Kari said with a shrug. The ride to the precinct was quiet. Barba held her hand the whole way, rubbing small circles with his fingers.


	13. Chapter 13

When they pulled up at the curb, Barba let go of her hand. Kari huffed slightly, but didn't say anything. If he wanted to be a secret, fine. She closed the door roughly, enough to make Barba jump slightly.

She walked past him without a word, quickly reaching the elevator. Barba caught up with her and touched her shoulder.

"¿Que hay?" Barba asked, his eyebrows together in confusion.

"I'm fine." Kari said quickly, giving him a smile she hoped he couldn't tell was fake.

"You're a bad liar, Grey." Barba crossed his hands behind his back. He was going into lawyer mode.

"Didn't know I was on trial, Counselor." She drew out the last word pointedly, earning a scoff from him.

"All right, detective. We'll talk about it later. Go, save people. Text me when you're done, if you want to get together." He rubbed her arm gently and placed a quick kiss on her cheek before heading out the door. Kari walked into the empty elevator and leaned against the back.

He had said before he wasn't actively trying to keep it a secret, but he ALL but threw her hand away when they pulled up. Was he embarrassed to be seen with her? She knew she wasn't the cutest girl on the block, but she wasn't that ugly, was she?

Kari huffed a sigh and shook her head. No guy had ever gotten under her skin like he was. She sighed again and adjusted her shirt, putting a smile onto her face as the elevator opened.

"I've been summoned?" Kari asked the room. She dropped into her desk chair, waiting for Olivia to hang up the phone.

"Don't get comfortable, Grey. They need you down at the M.E. office." Kari nodded and grabbed her jacket, heading back out the door. Amaro was on her heels.

"Do I need a babysitter now, Nicky?" Kari pushed the elevator button.

"Just checking in on you, kiddo." Amaro nudged her shoulder and chuckled. Kari smiled at him and sighed.

"I need a drink and a nap, honestly." She rubbed her temples.

"We can go for a drink after this, if you want." Was Amaro hitting on her? She raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

"You're sweet, Nicky, but I've got plans after this, I think." Amaro nodded and looked away.

"Ah, the mystery man. Tell me about him." 

"Not a lot to tell. Things are still new. Still...learning. We'll see." They walked into the medical examiner office together silently.

"Detectives, just in time." Doctor Warner gave them a small smile.

"Whaddya got for me, doc?" Kari leaned against the table, pointedly ignoring the body of the girl she was teaching Beethoven to just last week. Warner must have noticed, because she pulled the sheet over the girl's head.

"Well, the good news is, your guy was really sloppy this time around. He didn't leave any fluids, but plenty of DNA under the fingernails and in her teeth. Your guy is going to have a bite mark, probably on his forearm. There are short hairs in her mouth, but they don't look like pubic hair. Also, we ran a tox screen on her. The same anti depressant found in Lindsey was found in her. So the guy is probably taking Celexa. Prescribed for depression, anxiety, PTSD."

"Okay, so what's the bad news?" Amaro crossed his arms, but Kari knew what she was going to say.

"The DNA matches the homeless man Grey here cleared. Good luck getting him back in now though. He's also on record taking Celexa." Kari sighed deeply and headed back to the elevator.

"Thanks, doc." Kari waved over her shoulder. Warner shook her head sadly, knowing that Kari wasn't upset with her. Amaro followed close behind, slipping into the elevator just before it closed.

Kari was leaning against the back of the elevator, her head pressed against the wall. Her hands were clenched into fists, her knuckles white. Her phone rang from her pocket, but she ignored it. Amaro gingerly pulled her phone from her pocket.

"Grey's phone. Yeah, Liv. On our way back up now. Thanks."

"Who did he kill, now?" Kari's voice was muffled against the wall.

"They've got him. He's in interrogation. Liv thought you'd wanna take this one. I guess Barba's up there, too." Kari perked up slightly, a smile spreading across her face. Amaro flinched slightly. It wasn't her normal, warm smile. This smile was angry, almost sinister. Amaro put his hand on her shoulder.

"You sure you can handle this, niña?" Kari nodded slightly.

"Hell yeah. This is all mine."


	14. Chapter 14

Barba POV

Kari didn't look at him as she walked down the hall to the interrogation room. Her eyes were hard, her knuckles white as she stormed into the room, closing the door slowly behind her. The witness flinched as he locked eyes with her. He looked timid as he shrunk away from her gaze.

"You lied to me, Kevin." Kari's voice was almost inaudible. She leaned onto the table, her grey eyes stormy. Kevin flinched away, his skin going pale.

"N-no, no I wouldn't...I didn't..." He jumped noticeably when Kari's fist pounded the table.

"Don't you dare lie to my face again, Weston." She didn't yell, but somehow that was scarier. Barba remembered Kari telling him she didn't have the attitude to be a lawyer, but right now, she could be in a courtroom. Her long stride around the room, sweating the witness without saying a word.

"I didn't...I didn't hurt that girl!" Weston demanded, despite not being accused.

"You're a bad liar, Weston. We have your DNA all over her...all over the body. You got sloppy, Weston. You lied about being in the service. You lied about Michelle. You lied about touching that little girl in the park and you're lying about Kimmy." Weston was fidgeting with his fingers, refusing to look into her face. Kari grabbed his arm and pulled his sleeve up. A large bandage covered his forearm. Kari ripped it off unceremoniously, revealing a large, bleeding bite mark. Kari laughed a humorless bark and threw his arm down onto the table.

"You wanna try again, Weston? I'm willing to bet my entire year salary that those teeth marks will match Kim's." Kari turned to face him. Her eyes were like a hurricane crashing up the shore, destroying everything in its wake. Barba tensed slightly. He wasn't even the one in her sights and he was nervous.

"I....I...didn't mean to hurt her. I just wanted to play. They never want to play with me. They get so nervous. I give them the medicine to calm them down so we can play. But she didn't calm down. She got so scared and mad. She started screaming, scratching and biting. I didn't mean to hit her head on the ground. I didn't mean...I just wanted to play!" Weston slammed his hands against the table, his eyes tearing up.

Kari pinched the bridge of her nose. Cragen shook his head and knocked on the window. Kari sighed and walked to the door.

"That's enough." Cragen told her, putting his hand on her shoulder. "We've got him. You're done." Kari started to protest, but he shook his head. "Go home, kid. You done good." Kari looked at Barba for a moment, but nodded.

"Fine. Fine, I'll go home. Call me if anything happens." She gave Barba a pointed look before heading toward the elevator.

"This is open and shut, right?" Olivia looked at Barba, who nodded once.

"DNA alone puts him with that dead girl, but it's shaky on the first one. Can we connect him with the drug that knocked her out?"

"He's got a prescription for it, is that enough?" Munch leaned against the wall next to the door. Barba glanced into the room and saw Weston banging his head against the table, sobbing.

"I think it's a pretty safe bet they're going to try for a psych defense. Get him out of here before he hurts someone. It's late. I'll be back in the morning." Barba's phone buzzed in his pocket.

Stopping at the liquor store then going home. Scotch and hot pockets? Come on over if you want.

He chuckled slightly and boarded the elevator.

Dinner of champions. I'll be there in ten.

Kari took a long time to answer the door. She stumbled into the doorway, the smell of scotch slapping him in the face.

"Hola, Rafi! You took a long time to get here. I started without you!" She was wearing nothing but her underwear and a faded Deadpool t-shirt that barely covered her. She crooked her finger and stepped to the side, inviting him in.

"I can see that. Are you okay, cariña?" He closed the door behind him, trying not to trip over Kari's giant cat slinking between his feet.

"I am...awesome. Really, really awesome." Kari said in a sing-song voice. She dropped onto her bed and laughed.

"Now why don't I believe that?" He sat down on the bed next to her, and she put her head in his lap. Her curly black hair fell out of its messy bun, into her face. Barba brushed the hair out of her eyes. They weren't the hurricane Kari eyes he'd seen in the interrogation room. They weren't the bright, shiny blue steel that she'd smile at him with. They were the sad, drunken eyes of a young girl, beating herself up over something out of her control.

"I let him get in my head, and I let him walk away and she's dead and it's my fault!" Her voice got steadily higher as she spoke, like her throat was closing more with each word. She closed her eyes as tears sprung out of the corners. She hid her face against his thighs, her hands clutching the fabric of his shirt. He couldn't think of words that would calm her, so he just rubbed her back and shushed her softly.

Her breathing steadied and slowed. She fell asleep in his lap, clutching him to her. He pulled her gently up onto her pillow. She stirred, but didn't wake. She grabbed his arm when he started to get up, hugging his shoulder like a teddy bear. He stifled a laugh and toed his shoes off.

He doesn't remember falling asleep. He laid next to her, watching her sleep. Her face scrunched up a few times, like she was dreaming about things from her past. He'd run his hand over her forehead or rub her arm and she'd calm. She muttered in her sleep, as well, but he couldn't make out the words. He caught his name a few times, though.

He awoke some time later to her fingers drawing little circles against his chest. Her hair was tied into a messy knot at the base of her neck.

"Hey, you." Her voice cracked slightly as she looked up into his face, a small, almost timid smile. He squeezed her gently in response, rubbing his eyes with his other hand. "You stayed." He almost didn't hear her.

"Of course I did, querida. When you need me, I'm here." Kari's small smile widened and she crawled up toward him. Her lips pressed to his softly. She pressed her chest to his, putting her knees on either side of him, straddling him. He bit down on the moan threatening to escape his lips when her tongue pushed its way into his mouth. He was kicking himself when he pushed her back gently. "Despacio, cariña." His voice was hoarse. She leaned back, increasing her weight pressing against his growing erection.

"If you want me to stop, I will." Her wide eyes studied his face.

"Are you sure about this? How drunk are you, exactly?" He arched an eyebrow at her. She laughed lightly and shook her head.

"Not a bit, hon." She stood on the bed, raised one foot off the mattress, and put her finger on her nose, switching hands, imitating the driving sobriety test. She lost her balance, though, and fell onto her butt with a laugh. "Well, that wasn't as effective as I wanted."

"Are you okay?" He asked, and she knew he didn't mean from the fall. She sighed and nodded, climbing back into his lap and pressing her forehead to his.

"But I could be a lot better."


	15. Chapter 15

SMUT CHAPTER!! There will be no relevant story development in this chapter, so if you're not interested in a sex scene, feel free to skip this chapter altogether.

Kari bit Rafael's bottom lip gently, wrapping her arms around his neck. His hands slid up and down her waist before digging into her hips to pull her closer.

"Are you sure?" He managed to choke out, nearly kicking himself for questioning it. A beautiful woman was literally throwing herself at him, but he always has to be the gentleman. She leaned away for a moment and pulled her t-shirt over her head, her bare breasts bouncing free from the fabric. Rafael moaned lightly and took it as a yes.

He took no time pulling her taught pink nipple into his mouth. A whisper of a moan escaped her lips and she tangled her fingers into his hair. She worked her fingers down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt slowly. He ran his teeth over her nipple once, gauging her reaction. Her gasping moan made him grind against her, his erection growing painful against his pants.

Kari pushed him down onto his back and grabbed his dick through the fabric. "Mierda, mira lo duro que es el, papi." Rafael bit his lip to quiet the groan in his throat.

"Solo para ti, bella alma." His voice cracked slightly when she slowly, too slowly, pulled his zipper down, his throbbing erection springing free. Her fingers were soft, running down his length, gently kneading his balls. He arched into her hand, begging for more contact.

"So eager." She chided with a chuckle. He simply moaned in response. Her mouth found the head of his dick, warm and wet and teasingly slow.

"This is almost cruel." He mewled in a totally manly way. She laughed and pulled more of his length into her mouth. He felt the head of his dick press against the back of her throat and he choked back a gasp. She bobbed her head quicker now, and he felt himself wind up tighter. No, no. Not yet. He pulled away and she released him, tilting her head at him.

"I feel we're very uneven, here." Kari stated plainly, waving her hand between them. Rafael laughed and stood next to the bed, stripping off his layers. Kari laid back, going for seductively, and slipped her panties down slowly. Once he was naked, Rafael leaned over her, running his hand from her calf, slowly up her leg, trailing slowly across her hip to brush gently through her short trimmed pubic hairs. She gasped slightly, his large fingers surprisingly gentle. He let his fingers dip slowly across her already wet lips. He pulled his hand back and licked his finger slowly. Fuck, why was that so hot?

"Hmm, I like how eager you are." Rafael whispered, his green eyes trained on her. She almost felt embarrassed, heat rushing to her cheeks. She looked away, but he put a hand on her chin, pulling her eyes back to him. "No, no. I want to see you." His finger slid into her slowly, arching up into her sweet spot. Her muscles tightened around his finger, and he growled in her ear. He slipped another finger inside her, and Kari couldn't help whispering his name.

"Stop." Kari groaned, leaning away from him. Rafael froze and shrunk back. She got up and scurried across the small apartment to the bathroom. Rafael stroked his length slowly, hoping things weren't cut off here. She jumped back onto the bed then, a small box in her hand. Condoms. Good girl.

She pushed his hand away from his dick, letting her own take its place. He was bigger than she expected, and she was a little nervous. She leaned down, pulling him into her mouth again.

"Maldita cariña, que me estás matando aquí!" Rafael arched his back into her mouth, tightening up again. He pulled back, and she took the hint. Kari pulled a condom out of its foil pack, sliding it over him slowly. She took no time climbing onto him, sliding his head along her slick lips before easing down onto him. She gasped when he filled her. He held his hands on her hips, holding her in place while she adjusted to him inside her. Her muscles tightened sporadically around him, almost twitching. Rafael's breath caught in his throat from her tightness.

She didn't take long to adjust, rocking her hips back and forth against him. Her nails dug into his shoulders, her orgasm building quickly.

"Fuck, Papi." Kari growled, throwing her head back. Her muscles clamped down on him as she came, pulling him along with her. She buried her head into his neck, trying to quiet her moans.

Rafael pulled her to his side, pressing his lips to her forehead before he stood and walked to the bathroom. Kari wrapped the blanket around her, her breathing still erratic. Rafael pulled his shorts on and laid down next to her.

"Go back to sleep, preciosa." Rafael kissed her lips softly. Kari laid her head against his chest, his heartbeat soft in her ear.


	16. Chapter 16

RING! RING! RING!! Kari rolled over with a groan. She dug through the pile of her and Barba's clothes on the floor, trying to find the culprit.

"Grey." Kari croaked, rubbing her eyes.

"¿Hola, quién es?" A woman's voice asked. Kari ran a hand through her hair.

"Kari Grey. ¿Y tu?" She pulled her shorts on and threw her tank top back on.

"I thought I called Rafael Barba? This is his mother." Kari choked on the breath she was taking.

"Si, si. Señora Barba. Yes, this is Rafael's phone. ¡Lo siento! He is asleep right now. I thought this was my phone." Kari's face was hot with embarrassment.

"Bueno. Well tell him to call his mami when he is awake. And he likes his eggs over easy. Breakfast is always polite the next morning." Señora Barba hung up then. Kari dropped her head to her knees and groaned softly.

Valo padded over, rubbing her hand with his head.

"Good morning, amor." She kissed the top of his head and walked quietly to the kitchen. She started a pot of the Cuban coffee Barba had brought her, and pulled a frying pan out for eggs. She tucked her earphones into her ears and turned on a playlist of 90s alternative music. She danced around the kitchen, cooking eggs and sausage while she sang.

But I'm in so deep.   
You know I'm such a fool for you.   
You got me wrapped around your finger.  
Do you have to let it linger?   
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?

"Aren't you a little young for The Cranberries?" Barba pulled an earphone out of her ear and pulled her back against him. Kari laughed and turned her music off.

"Well I thought it was obvious I tend to like things that are too old for me." She kissed his cheek and laughed at his fake hurt expression.

"Ay. Tu no es agradable por la mañana." Kari placed a cup of black coffee in front of him on the counter.

"I never claimed to be nice, hon. You hungry?" She placed a large plate of food on the counter and two forks. Barba grinned at her, shaking his head slightly.

"Awesome, I love over easy eggs." He took a bite and smiled, kissing her gently over the counter.

"I know, your mom told me." Kari tried to say nonchalantly, but when he choked on his coffee, she knew it hadn't worked. She rubbed the back of her neck nervously and chuckled.

"Please elaborate." Barba stared at her, one eyebrow raised.

"I thought it was my phone. I was half asleep. All our clothes were kind of in a pile. I thought it was work. I'm sorry. She says to call her when you're awake." She slid the phone across the counter to him. He didn't take the phone, just watched her for a moment. She lowered her head, waiting for him to scream at her, like she was used to.

He walked around the counter to her side. She flinched when he put his arm around her, and he stopped.

"I'm not mad at you, cariña. Look at me." He chuckled lightly and put his hand under her chin. He kissed her lips softly and pulled her to his chest.

"I thought you would be. It wasn't my place to touch your things." Kari could feel her face getting hot, embarrassment and threatening tears crawling to her face.

"Oh, honest mistake. Besides, talking to mami was probably punishment enough." Kari laughed loudly and shook her head.

"She probably thinks I'm a hooker. Eat your breakfast. I gotta work in a few hours. I'm gonna take a shower. Back in a minute." She kissed him quickly and turned toward the bathroom, but he held her hand, pulling her back to his chest. He kissed her slowly, pushing her gently back into the refrigerator. He pinned her hands above her head with one hand, running the other along her waist to her thigh. He pulled away too soon, and Kari gasped slightly.

"Go get your shower, bella. I'll be here." Barba leaned against the counter, fighting a smirk. Kari swatted his shoulder and slunk into the bathroom.

She returned a few minutes later to find him sitting on her bed, Valo curled up in his lap, talking on the phone.

"No, mami. She's a detective, I work with her. Yo no pagar por ella. Ella no es tan joven. Mami... Tengo que ir. Hablaremos después. Adiós mami." He groaned softly and fell back onto her bed.

"That sounded like it went well." Kari crawled onto the bed next to him, and he pulled her into his arms.

"She thinks I paid you." Kari stifled a laugh and shook her head.

"In coffee and food, maybe. I'm a puta barata." Barba scoffed and shook his head, kissing her cheek gently.

"Do you have to go in right now? I'm actually off today." Before Kari could reply, her phone rang. She held it up, as if to show him it was work, before answering.

"Hey, kiddo. I didn't wake you did I?" Amaro asked, and she sighed.

"Would it really matter if you did, Nicky?"

"Not really, but it seemed polite to at least ask. I know you're not due in for another hour, but I could use your expertise, if you don't mind."

"I'll be there in a few minutes." Kari said with a laugh and hung up the phone.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Barba wrapped his arms around Kari's waist and kissed her forehead. She shook her head and smiled.

"You can stay here if you want." Kari walked over to the counter and rummaged through her laptop bag for her keys. She twisted her house key off the ring and placed it in his palm. "Just lock up when you leave." Barba stared at the key in his hand for a moment, a strange look on his face. He chuckled lightly and wrapped his fingers around it. He grabbed her hand and pulled her against his chest, crashing his lips to hers. Kari gasped lightly at the sudden affection, but she smiled. Her breath was still caught in her throat when he pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers.

"What was that for? I mean I'm not complaining, but still." Barba's eyes were closed, a small smile on his face.

"You." His voice was soft. Kari giggled and kissed his forehead.

"Sos tan tonto." Barba hugged her to his chest again and kissed her cheek.

"Y eres hermosa." Barba whispered and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Meet me for lunch?" Kari leaned back slightly. Barba nodded and let her go. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She slipped her shoes on and walked to Barba's side again. She slid her hand through his hair slowly and pulled his lips to hers. He held onto her, almost greedy.

"Text me when you wanna meet. We can eat at the diner?" Barba smiled at her and she couldn't help but return it. He smiled do rarely, but every time he smiled at her, it was bright and sincere.

"Go ahead and go back to sleep. I'll call you later." Kari kissed him quickly and headed toward the door. "I have to go before I won't wanna leave. Call you later, querido." Kari waved and grinned, then slipped through the door.

Barba leaned against the counter and let out a slow breath. He fingered the key in his palm, warm from his grip.

He was falling for her, and falling hard. He'd been in relationships before, but this was...so different. She was young, sure, but way too bright. Her quick wit constantly amazed him. Her bright personality made the room warm whenever she walked in. He also knew that when she was angry, she was not someone to be crossed. The way she broke that witness without saying more than a dozen words.

Barba eyed the key again. At his age, it was ridiculous this was the first time a girlfriend had given him a key. He'd been in semi-serious relationships before, sure, but never this far. Never this quick and never this...hard.

Barba grabbed his phone and called his mother. She answered on the third ring.

"Rafael Barba, you have some serious explaining to do! Where are you?" Lucia yelled at him.

"Good morning to you too, mami." Barba chuckled.

"Why is there a young girl answering your phone? Where are you?" She asked again.

"Mama, take a breath. I'm in the city, staying at my girlfriend's apartment." He couldn't fight the grin that spread across his face when he said it.

"And what, her daughter answered your phone? That girl couldn't have been even old enough to drink!"

"She's almost 30, mama. She's not that young. She's a detective with SVU. I told you that." He leaned on the counter, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"How long has this been going on?" Lucia sighed lightly, and he could almost picture her doing the same thing.

"Not long. You'd like her, mami. She's so smart, she got a full ride into Yale at 15. She's got three degrees. Speaks like 5 or 6 languages. She plays classical piano and violin." Barba was speaking very quickly, suddenly incredibly excited to brag about his girlfriend. She was HIS girlfriend. He was grinning like a school boy. Lucia cut him off and laughed.

"Meet me for coffee. We can talk more in person. You sound absolutely giddy." Barba agreed to meet at his apartment and ended the phone call. He threw on his clothes from yesterday and looked around the small apartment. Valo hopped onto the counter and mewled at him. He rubbed the cat's large black head and walked toward the door.

Barba walked into his apartment, his mother waiting on his couch. They hugged for a moment before Barba took a quick shower and dressed. He plugged his dying phone in and laid it on his bed. A text from Kari popped onto the screen.

_Amaro needed me to fix his computer. He opened a virus email. My eye roll when I got here was so hard I think I saw my brain D:_

Barba laughed and walked back into the kitchen. Lucia was seated at the counter, two mugs of coffee in front of her.

"So, tell me about this girl. What is her name?" Lucia regarded him slowly. Barba smiled and took a long drink from his coffee.

"Kari Grey. She's a detective that I've been working with for a while." Lucia nodded slowly.

"She's quite a bit younger than you." It wasn't a question. Barba sighed softly.

"Yes, a bit. But she's very smart. She's a good detective. She's got a law degree. She says she doesn't have the attitude to be a lawyer, but...I think she could do it." Barba was grinning as he told his mother about Kari. She didn't ask any questions, just let him ramble for a few minutes.

"You are completely smitten, aren't you?" Lucia had a small smile on her lips. "How long?"

"Not very. That's why I'm so...nervous?" Lucia put her hand over his on the counter.

"Be careful, Rafi. She's young. Don't let her manipulate you. You're a successful lawyer. Almost district attorney. This could just be about money." Barba pulled his hand away from Lucia, his eyes wide.

"Never! She's never asked me for anything. She doesn't even like me to pay for coffee!" He laughed once. Lucia nodded once but didn't reply.

"Just be careful, mijo. That's all I'm saying." Barba nodded and placed his hand on hers.

"Please meet her, mami. I know you'll love her."

"Soon, mi amor." He talked with his mother for about an hour before Barba raised his hand, listening for a moment. Sirens were blasting downstairs, voices yelling in the hallway. Suddenly someone was pounding on his door fervently. Barba rushed to open the door, and Kari was standing in the hallway, her grey eyes wide and red.

"Oh my goodness, you're here!" She threw her arms around his neck, not caring who saw.

"¿Qué pasa, cariña?" Barba put his hand on her cheek.

"Jackson broke out of jail."


	17. Chapter 17

Kari walked out of the elevator and into the squad room. Nick was waiting at his desk and grinned when she entered. He held out a cup of coffee and a bag from a nearby donut shop.

"Bribery? Already? Well, now I'm nervous. What do you want, Nicky?" Kari raised an eyebrow at Amaro, earning a chuckle.

"You know me too well. I think my computer has a virus and the guys downstairs say it's gonna be at least noon before they can help me." Kari sighed and dropped into Amaro's chair.

"You're so lucky I love you, Nicky. I had a guy in my bed when you called me." Amaro laughed.

"I really didn't need to hear that." Munch rounded the corner shaking his head. Kari laughed loudly and started ticking away on Amaro's computer.

It only took about twenty minutes to get the computer back in working order, and prevent it from happening again.

"Don't open emails you don't know, Nicky. Stranger danger and all that." Kari patted her partner on the cheek and walked over to her own desk. She pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Barba.

_Amaro needed me to fix his computer. He opened a virus email. The eye roll when I got here was so hard I think I saw my brain D:_

She started to toss her phone onto her desk but noticed an email from an unknown address. Her throat tightened, and she completely ignored her advice to Amaro and clicked it open.

**MISSED YOU, BABY! COMING TO SEE YOU SOON. WE'RE GOING TO PLAY THIS TIME.**

A photo was attached of a highway sign with a photo of the FDR exit sign. Her hand shook and the phone clattered to the floor. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, and her face felt like it was on fire. Her vision turned smoky and her limbs felt weightless.

She could hear someone calling her name somewhere far away. Hands were on her shoulders and her face. She was shaking, but wasn't sure if it was someone else or her own body.

"Kari, look at me!" Munch was holding her chin. Kari jumped slightly and focused on his face. "Is your boyfriend still at your apartment?" She nodded slowly and stood suddenly.

"I need to go. I...I need to go." Kari started toward the door, but Amaro grabbed her arm.

"You're not going anywhere alone. Munch, talk to the warden at Riker's and find out what the hell happened." Kari was already headed foot the elevator. Amaro caught up just before the door closed. Kari leaned her face against the wall, tears streaming silently down her face.

"Hey, Kar. Everything is going to be fine. I'm sure your boyfriend is fine." Amaro rubbed her shoulder gently. Kari sighed but didn't respond. She stalked out of the elevator, her short stature not hindering her pace toward her apartment.

She got home in record time, Amaro on her heels. He stopped her outside the door, which looked untouched. Kari unlocked the door and threw it open, letting Amaro take point. He swept the small studio quickly. Valo ran up to Kari, slinking between her feet as usual.

"Valo, baby. I'm so happy to see you." She pulled the large black cat into her arms and rubbed her face into his fur.

"Apartment's clear. Did you call him? Maybe he went home." Kari put Valo onto the bed and pulled out her phone. Barba hadn't replied to her earlier text. She dialed his number, but it went to voicemail. Amaro's phone rang and he walked into the hallway. Kari tried two more times but Barba didn't answer. Kari started to panic again.

"Kari? Hey, are you okay?" He held her shoulders and crouched down to her eyeline.

"He's not answering. He...He didn't answer. Nick, what do I do?" Kari was shaking slightly in his hands. Amaro pulled her to his chest and hugged her.

"I'm sure he went home. Oh, niña. Que va a esta bien."

"I need to go to his house. I need to know that he's there. I...I have to go." Kari pulled away from Amaro and stumbled toward the door. He caught her before she fell.

"You can't go alone. Hey, listen to me. Go, but take unis with you. You don't need to be driving. Come on. We'll walk back to the precinct. They can drive you over there." Amaro followed close behind her as she ran into the parking lot. Amaro instructed officers to take her and walked into the building.

"Liv, what's going on?" Amaro asked, walking up to the detective. She was on the phone, and he noticed none of his co-workers in the squad room.

"Jackson is out, and we're fairly certain he's already killed someone." She pulled up a photograph of a driver's license. He had to look at it twice to know for sure it wasn't Kari.

"Jennifer Schulte, 24. Student at Hudson. She was found less than a mile from here, behind a dumpster. Raped, strangled. Her eyes and tongue were cut out. Weiss has been out for less than twelve hours. Jennifer has been dead less than 6."

"She looks like she could be Kari's twin." Amaro stated obviously. Benson shot him a look.

"I hadn't noticed. No DNA or prints at the scene. Fin and Munch are canvassing. Where's Kari?"

"Boyfriend wasn't at her place. She took some unis to his house to make sure he's safe. Want me to call her?"

"Get her back here. Now!"


	18. Chapter 18

"What do you mean he's out?" Barba held her hands, eyes wide. Before Kari could reply, her phone was ringing. Kari let out a low growl and whipped the phone from her pocket.

"Grey!" Kari's voice was sharp.

"Kari, you need to get back here now. It's important." Amaro's voice was tight, higher than usual. Kari sighed.

"I'm on my way." Kari sighed. Barba looked at her, his face tight.

"Kari, what's going on?"

"I have to go. I'm sorry. When you weren't at my apartment..." Tears threatened to run down her face. She rubbed her nose and sniffled. Barba pulled her to his chest and rubbed her back.

"It's okay, cariña. Buena." He kissed her cheek softly.

"I'm sorry I freaked out, hon. I have to go back in. Oh!" Kari looked at Lucia, who was sitting at the counter. Kari hadn't realized she was there.

"You must be Kari Grey." Lucia walked over to them and extended her hand. Kari smiled and shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Señora Barba. I wish it had been under better circumstances than me barging in." Lucia gave her a small smile.

"Well talk again soon. Go on, now." Kari nodded, gave Barba a quick kiss and ducked out the door.

"Mami, I should go, too. It is my case." He started toward his bedroom, but his mother stopped him.

"Who is Jackson and why is she so afraid of him?" Barba stopped and sighed, but didn't turn around.

"I'm sorry, but it would violate attorney client privilege for me to say. He's an escaped convict, that's all I can tell you."

"Rafi, are you in danger?" Lucia's voice shook slightly. Barba turned back to his mother and walked to her side.

"Todo está bien, mami. Lo prometo." He hugged her for a moment and headed into his bedroom. He grabbed his phone and jacket and walked back into the living room.

"Let me know what's going on. Solicitud de contacto y estar seguro. Por favor." His mother hugged him close.

"Si, mami." Barba headed to the precinct. He could hear Kari shouting before the elevator opened.

"It has to be him! Look at that girl! She looks...looked just like me. Oh dios mio, esa pobre niña. Chica inocente." Kari was slumped in her chair when he walked in, her head in her hands. She looked up at him when he entered. She looked like she was going to run to him, but changed her mind and stood slowly.

"Barba, what are you doing here?" Amaro asked, walking to Kari's side. He laid his hand on Kari's shoulder.

"Weiss is my case. Where are we?" Barba glared at Amaro but looked at Benson.

"We don't have anything solid to tie him to the rape and murder, but it's...I mean look at this girl." Barba turned to the monitor and couldn't help but agree. She could be Kari's twin. The phone ringing distracted him.

"Benson, SVU. You've gotta be...all right. Thanks. That was Brooklyn SVU. They've got another body. Sending the file over now." Another picture popped up on the monitor. State ID of a girl, another spitting image of Kari. Benson sighed.

"Gillian Andrews, 26. Bookkeeper in Red Hook. Found in her apartment this morning."

"Tienes que estar jodiendo! Where the hell is he?!" Kari stood quickly, knocking over her chair. Benson stepped forward and put her hand on Kari's shoulder.

"All right, kid. You're too involved. Go home." Kari sputtered, looking at Benson like she grew a second head.

"Actually, Grey, if you aren't tied up here, I need to ask you a few questions. Maybe you know something we can work with to save your case." Barba looked at Kari, who sighed.

"You know what, fine. Fine, as long as I'm helping." Kari stomped toward the elevator, Barba following slowly behind her.

Kari was silent in the elevator, and the whole way to Barba's office. He told his secretary to hold his calls and locked his office door.

"It's all my fault, Rafi." Kari dropped into the chair in front of Barba's desk. Her voice was soft, barely audible. Barba walked over and knelt in front of the chair. Kari's head was slumped over the arm, her knees tucked under her. She had kicked off her shoes. She looked so young then, her large grey blue eyes wet and wide.

"No, princesa. No es tu culpa." Barba took her hands and rubbed his hands up her arms. Kari wrapped her arms around his neck, sniffling.

"Those poor girls. They're dead because of me. It...it has to be Jack-Jackson." Her tears fell against Barba's neck, and pulled her tighter.

"We're going to get him, cariña. I promise, okay? I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, ever again."


	19. Chapter 19

Explicit chapter. No story progression to speak of. Feel free to skip this altogether if you so desire.

Kari pressed herself against Rafael's chest, as if his body heat was the only thing keeping her from falling apart. She pressed her lips to his neck and jaw. A low breath escaped his lips and he pulled back.

"Cariña, slow down. Are you sure?" Rafael eyed her face carefully. Kari stood and walked over to his desk. She pushed the papers on his desk to the side and hopped onto the edge. She slid her dark blue skirt up her thighs and motioned him forward.

Rafael chuckled lightly and walked over to her. He slid his hand up her thigh slowly, her skin soft and warm under his fingers. Kari wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him against her. His erection pressed against her thigh, a light moan bubbled up her throat.

Rafael slid his fingers up to the edge of her panties and pushed them to the side. He slipped one finger inside of her already wet lips. Kari pressed her mouth against Rafael's throat, trying to stifle her excitement against his skin.

"So eager already, princesa?" Rafael whispered in her ear. He slipped another finger inside her, pressing his palm against her clit as he moved in and out. Kari arched her back slightly, begging for more contact. She moved in rhythm with his hand, tightening around his fingers as she hit closer to her orgasm. Rafael slid a third finger inside, and this pushed her over the edge. Her body shook against him as she came. She bit down on Rafael's shoulder to keep from crying out.

Rafael chuckled and stepped slightly back. He slid the wet fingers into his mouth and smiled.   
"Deliciosa, mi bella." Kari laughed and pulled him back against her. She kissed his lips, tasting herself on his tongue. She slid her hand down and unzipped his pants, pulling his erection free from the zipper.

"Te necesito tanto ahora." Kari said against his mouth. Rafael growled and grabbed her waist, pressing against her. Kari shifted so he could slide into her and gasped when he did. She was still sensitive from his hand. Her muscles spasmed slightly around his length. Rafael hissed through his teeth at her tightness.

Kari wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her fingers into his hair. Rafael pushed in slowly and stopped when he got all the way in. Kari bucked her hips against him.

"Please don't stop, papi." Kari whispered against Rafael's throat. He growled and started moving slowly. Kari met each thrust with her own. Rafael could feel himself getting close to finishing, so he slowed down slightly. He ran his hands up her sides. Kari grabbed one of his hands and brought it to her mouth. She pressed her lips to his hand, sucking one of his fingers into her mouth. She ground her hips against him. Rafael bit down on a moan and slowed almost to a stop.

"Tengo que parar, cariña. Voy a... joder!" Kari dropped off the desk onto her knees in front of Rafael. She sucked him into her mouth. Rafael bit down on his fist when she slid her tongue around his head. He came deep into her throat. He had to grab the desk to keep his knees from buckling under him. Kari swallowed and grinned up at him, her curls falling in her face. Rafael reached down and brushed her hair back from her eyes.

"Va a ser la muerte de mí, princesa. Joder."


	20. Chapter 20

Kari was laying with her head on Barba's lap when her phone started ringing. She sighed and pulled the phone from her pocket. A number she didn't recognize appeared on the screen.

"Grey." Kari's voice cracked slightly when she spoke.

"Oh, so official now, aren't you Kar?" Jackson's voice made her body go rigid. She threw herself from the couch and stood up.

"Jackson, where are you?" Barba stood when she said his name.

"You don't think I'd let you find me that easily, do you? Come on, you know me better than that, baby girl. Are you nice and cozy with your lawyer sugar daddy?" Kari's hand shook when she picked up her laptop bag. She put the call on speaker as she plugged the phone into her laptop.

"What do you want, Jackson? Why did you kill those two girls?" Jackson cackled a shrill laugh.

"Oh, baby girl. You don't even know, do you? Two? Oh, you're the worst cop ever!" Kari pulled up a tracking program, trying to trace the call.

"How did you get out of jail, Jackson? Can you tell me that?" The map was closing in slowly. Barba walked into the adjoining bathroom. Kari could hear him calling Benson.

"What's in it for me, baby? When are you gonna come play with me? I miss you." Jackson's breath quickened. The images in Kari's head made her shudder.

"Tell me where you are. I can't come see you if I don't know where you are, hon." She tried to keep her voice light. She was clutching the edge of Barba's desk so hard her knuckles were white.

"Nice try, baby, but you're going tutu have to try harder than that. Have you been to central park lately? It's really pretty this time of year. See you soon, Kar." Jackson hung up. Kari ran to the bathroom, nearly knocking Barba over. She was throwing up in the bathroom when Benson walked into the office.

Kari was leaning over the sink, her breaths short and painful. She jumped when a hand touched her shoulder. Barba rubbed her shoulder gently.

"Benson has the phone number and the trace you ran. They're on their way there now. Come sit down, cariña." Barba led her over to the couch. She sat down slowly, letting her head fall into her hands.

"It's never going to end, is it? It's never going to end." Kari muttered into her hands. Barba pulled her to his chest and ran his hand through her hair.

"I just want to forget about all of it. I just want to move on with my life!"

"I know, baby. I know." Barba kissed her forehead softly. Barba's phone rang then. He pulled back and looked at the screen.

"Benson, give me good news. Damn it. Okay, thanks. Yeah...yeah I'm going to take her home." 

Barba helped Kari to her feet and led her out of the office. She seemed almost catatonic as he led her to the street and hailed a cab. She didn't speak. She stared at her hands the whole way to her apartment.

Barba held her hand as he led her up the stairs to her apartment. He dug the keys out of her bag and unlocked the door. Kari walked into her apartment and dropped her bag onto the couch. She kicked off her shoes, removed her clothes and fell onto her bed. Barba lingered by the door, unsure of what to do.

"Do you have to go?" Kari's voice was hoarse.

"Not if you don't want me to." He walked over and lowered himself onto the edge of the bed. Kari rolled over and grabbed his hand, pulling him up to lay next to her. Barba kicked off his shoes and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Do they know where he his? Did the trace work?" Barba kissed the top of her head and sighed.

"They'll get him, cariña. I promise."


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! The change in the weather got me super sick! More soon, I promise.

Kari was staring down at her hands, fidgeting with her fingers. She barely heard Barba calling her name from the front of the courtroom. Amaro nudged her shoulder.

"Ms. Grey, please?" Barba raised his eyebrow slightly. Kari cleared her throat and walked to the stand.

Kevin Weston was standing next to a young public defender. Kevin was adjusting his tie nervously, fidgeting.

Kari kept her eyes on the floor in front of her as she was sworn in. She couldn't bear to look at anyone. Her nerves were shot and she didn't want to be here. Jackson was still in the wind. He was up to five bodies, all of whom looked just like Kari.

She let out a shuddering breath as Barba approached her. She felt like she was on autopilot. Her and Barba had gone over all his questions numerous times. Where did she meet the defendant. What had he told her. What was said in interrogation. The pills he'd slipped both girls.

"No more questions. Your witness." Barba waved a hand toward the young defense attorney, Reagan Heller. The boy adjusted his tie and cleared his throat. Kari raised her eyes to meet his, and he visibly recoiled.

"Miss-ahem... Detective Grey." His voice shook. Kari almost felt bad for Kevin. He had no chance with this...child defending him.

"Now...umm...You-you originally met the defendant at the park where the first victim was...was playing soccer."

"I'm sorry, was that a question?" Kari replied flatly. A snort that sounded suspiciously like Barba was heard, and Heller looked flustered.

"I, um...I'm sorry. Yes. Can you confirm that you first met the defendant in the park?"

"Yes, that's correct. I interviewed him at the park."

"You didn't take him in? You just let him go?" Heller looked like a scared rodent, twitching as he paced in front of her.

"At the time, I didn't think he was a suspect."

"Yes, in fact you gave him money and the card to a homeless shelter."

"Was that a question, sir?" Kari turned her eyes to him.

"Did you give him money before you left?" Heller cleared his throat again.

"Yes, I did. I gave him coffee, a few bucks and the card to the homeless shelter I volunteer at. The shelter where he killed the second victim, Kimberly Franks."

"Objection!" Weston yelled from the other side of the courtroom.

"Mr. Heller, control your client, please. Sustained. The jury will disregard the last statement." The judge chided. Heller turned to his client, but didn't say anything. Weston threw his hands in the air.

"No further questions." Heller walked away. Kari started to stand up, but Barba raised his hand.

"Redirect, your honor?" The judge waved his hand at Barba, who walked over to her. He gave her a small smile before turning to the jury.

"So, Detective Grey, you were first SVU detective on the scene of the second attack, correct? When Kimberly Franks was killed at the homeless shelter you sent the defendant to?" Barba asked. Kari nodded and tried to clear the lump from her throat.

"That's correct. My partner and I walked to the scene, since it was only a few blocks from the precinct."

"And you interrogated the defendant when he was taken into custody, correct?" Kari told him yes, and he continued. "What did the defendant say to you when you interrogated him?"

"He said he gives them medicine to calm down so they'll play with him. But the medicine didn't work on her. He said he shook her to calm her down." Kari cleared her throat again, biting down in the emotion.

"She's a liar!" Kevin screamed, jumping to his feet. A bailiff was on him in an instant, pushing him back toward his chair. Barba motioned for her to come off the stand as the judge said they would take a recess. Kevin was fighting with the bailiff so no one noticed Barba squeeze her hand reassuringly. A shout from the corner startled Kari and she turned to face the defendant.

In a blink, Kevin had wrestled the gun from the man's belt. He raised it toward her and Barba, and pulled the trigger.


	22. Chapter 22

Kari's head pressed hard against Barba's shoulder. They were both on the floor, the gunshots still ringing in their ears. Voices were shouting around them. Kevin Weston lay dead on the floor of the courtroom.

"Kari! Kari!" Someone was calling for her. She raised her head slowly and looked into Barba's wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" Kari's voice cracked, her hair falling in her eyes.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine." Barba sat them both up. Kari's breath caught in her throat as she straightened up.

"Good. Good, cuz I'm not sure I am." Kari fell forward slightly, clutching the dark red blood blooming from her shoulder.

"Oh shit. Someone call a bus!" Amaro was next to them then, pressing his hand against hers on the wound. Barba laid her down, placing her head in his lap. Amaro grabbed Barba's hand and placed it where his was.

"Keep pressure on it. I'm going to go find someone. Keep her talking. Keep her concious" He was off like a shot then. Barba looked down at Kari, whose eyes were starting to cloud over.

"Kari! Kari, look at me, cariña. Baby, come on. Look at me." Kari looked around for a moment before focusing on Barba's face. She gave him a small smile. "Kari, what were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that you were in danger. I could never let anything happen to you." She grabbed his hand weakly and squeezed his fingers. Tears sprung to his eyes as he returned the squeeze.

"You're going to be okay, querida. I promise, you'll be okay. I can't believe...why would you jump in front of a bullet?! Hermosa chica loca. ¿Que estabas pensando?"

"I was thinking that I love you, idiot." Kari whispered softly. Her eyes slipped closed before Barba could respond.

"Kari! Kari, no baby, open your eyes." Barba pleaded, shaking her gently. Paramedics arrived then, all but pushing Barba out of the way. Amaro was at his side, talking to the paramedics, but Barba couldn't hear what they were saying. All he could hear was the blood rushing through his ears. All he could see was the blood of the woman he loved on his hands.

"Barba!" Amaro shouted at him. He jumped and looked at the detective. Amaro's eyes softened and he placed a hand on Barba's shoulder. "Ella va a estar bien. She's way tougher than she looks. Come on, let's chase that ambulance."

 

"Rafi , ¿qué ocurre?" Lucia grabbed Barba's hands. They were sitting in a tiny waiting room at the county hospital. The dingy green walls felt like they were closing in on him.

"She literally took a bullet for me, mami. Threw me to the ground and jumped in front of it. She could be dying and...and..." Barba bit down on the sob threatening to escape from his lips. Lucia wrapped her arms around her son's shoulders.

"Oh, mi niño. Todo estará bien. She's a tough little chica, I can tell." Benson and Amaro walked into the waiting room. Barba stood up and turned away from the detectives, wiping his cheeks discreetly. Benson paced her hand on Barba's forearm and gave him a small smile.

"She's gonna be fine, Rafael. She's still unconscious but she's out of the woods. Some PT and time off and she'll be good as new." Barba let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding and grasped Benson's hand with both of his.

"Oh, gracias a Dios." Lucia stepped away and did the sign of the cross, looking at the ceiling.

"Can I see her?" Barba asked. Amaro raised a eyebrow but didn't say anything. Benson nodded and led him down the hallway.

Kari was laying in the hospital bed, an oxygen tube around her face. Her left shoulder and arm were tightly bandaged. Her face looked sunken and pale.

"They said she should wake up soon. Nick and I need to get to the precinct. Call me when she wakes?" Barba nodded at her and fell into the chair next to Kari's bed. Lucia stood in the doorway, her hand against her chest.

"She could have died." Lucia whispered, walking slowly to her son's side.

"She saved my life, mami. She almost died saving my life." Lucia placed her hand on Barba's shoulder.

"I'll leave you two be for now. Call me when she's awake?" Barba nodded and took Kari's uninjured hand in his, pressing it to his lips.

"Tu belleza loca. I'm so glad you're okay." Barba closed his eyes and rested his head against her good shoulder. "Wake up, baby, please." Barba fell asleep just like that, spending the night at the hospital bedside of the woman he never got to say he loved.


	23. Chapter 23

Kari's eyes slid open slowly, flinching back at the bright light in the room. She cleared her throat, which felt like it was caked with mud.

"Welcome back, kiddo." Munch said softly from her bedside.

"Ugh, how long have I been out?" Kari rubbed her eyes with the hand that wasn't strapped down.

"Just over two days. You didn't miss anything, I promise." Kari cleared her throat again, trying to shake the dryness. Munch handed her a glass of water from the bedside table, which she eagerly gulped down.

"What happened? I just remember the gun and then...not much." Kari's voice was still rough. Munch nodded and sat up.

"You saved Barba's life is what happened, kiddo. You...are crazy! But you definitely saved that man's life. Oh, that reminds me. Barba left this for you." Munch reached into the large assortment of flowers and cards to pull out one in particular; a large grey Carebear. Kari orut her hand to her mouth and laughed.

"Ah dios mio, that jackass!" Kari fought the tears threatening to slide down her face. "So where is everyone? No offence, but last time I woke up in the hospital, the crowd was much larger." Kari joked, earning a light chuckle from Munch, who checked his watch.

"It's about 4am, kiddo. Everyone went home. Barba took some convincing, but his mom finally pried him away. You made quite an impression on him with what you did. I think you have a new fan." Munch stretched and stifled a yawn.

"Why don't you head home as well, old man. It's way past your bedtime." Munch faked a gasp of offence, earning a laugh from Kari.

"I'll come see you tomorrow. Be careful, kiddo. You're not invincible." Munch hugged her carefully and planted a quick kiss on her forehead before heading out. Kari sighed and laid back against the hospital bed. She spotted her cell phone on the bedside table and decided to shoot Barba a quick message.

Hey you. Thx for the bear.

Kari wasn't expecting a reply, so the return message made her jump slightly.

When did you wake up? The nurse was supposed to call me. I'll be right there.

You don't need to. It's late. Go 2 sleep.

Already in a cab. I'll bring coffee.

Well who could say no to that :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO sorry this took so long and even more sorry it's short. I'll have the next one up by the end of the week, I promise!


	24. Chapter 24

Kari didn't remember falling back to sleep, but she stirred awake when Barba ran his hand over her cheek and whispered something in Spanish she didn't catch.

"I don't think I've ever seen you not wearing suspenders." Kari chuckled, earning a scoff and a smile from Barba. He looked disheveled, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, his hair looking like he smoothed it with his hands before rushing over. "I think I like this look."

"Duly noted. How...how are you feeling?" Barba took her unbandaged hand gingerly, like she was going to break. Kari squeezed his hand and smiled.

"Peachy, hon. Don't I look it?"

"Kari, what were you thinking? You could have...what if you had..." Barba wasn't looking at her now. He was glaring pointedly at their entwined fingers, his eyes wet. Kari squeezed his hand.

"But I didn't. Don't dwell on what if. I'm no worse for the wear. Few weeks of PT, good as new. And you're okay, that's the important part." Kari brought his hand to her lips.

"No me asustes asi, bella princesa loca." Barba muttered, still not looking at her.

"Mirame, Rafi." Kari pulled her hand out of his and placed it under his chin. Barba's eyes were wet and red. Kari sighed and slid to one side if the hospital bed. "Aqui. Abrázame." She patted the bed next to her.

"I don't want to hurt you." Barba said softly.

"It wasn't a request, papi. Aqui. Ahora." Kari glared playfully and Barba finally smiled.

"Right away, detective." Barba laid down carefully, wrapping his arm carefully around Kari's waist. Kari buried her face into Barba's neck and sighed.

"What the hell were you thinking, jumping in front of me like that? Don't scare me like that again." Barba pressed his lips to her forehead, then cheek then lips. Kari smiled and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Duly noted." Kari smiled and kissed his lips again. "Forgive me, but I do believe there was talk of coffee?" That finally earned a loud laugh from Barba.


	25. Chapter 25

"Don't you two look cozy?" Lucia chuckled softly. Barba laughed and hugged Kari closer gently.

"Let's try not to wake her. What are you doing here so early, Mami?"

"You weren't home, so I figured you were here. How is she?" Lucia whispered as she slid into the chair next to the bed.

"She seems fine. She said basically the same thing the doctors did. Some physical therapy and she'll be good as new. But..." Barba let out a long breath.

"It is obvious she cares very deeply for you." Lucia smiled gently at Kari asleep against her son.

"Just before she passed out, after...after what happened, she told me she loved me. I dint think she remembers, though." Barba ran his hand over her cheek.

"Do you love her?" Lucia asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Yes. Of course I do. I just...I don't want to stress her out. If it was a heat of the moment, delirious kind of thing. I mean...she's amazing. She could have anyone she wanted. The age gap alone-"

"Eso es suficiente, Rafi. Tu es increíble, y lo sabes. So does she. You'll be fine. Ella te ama, y con buena razón. I'm going home. Call me later." Lucia kissed her son quickly, and patted Kari's hand before ducking out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Barba looked down at Kari, still fast asleep. He held her closer and sighed.

"Te ama, cariña." Barba whispered.

A few hours later, the squad arrived unceremoniously, stirring the pair awake.

"You owe me $20, Amaro!" Fin laughed as they entered. Nick groaned and pulled a bill from his pocket.

"Y'all were betting on me? On what, exactly?" Kari sat up and crossed her legs, raising an eyebrow at her partner.

"I've been saying for months you two were gonna end up together." Fin laughed again as he pocketed Nick's money.

"So how are you feeling, kiddo?" Nick leaned against Kari's bed. He seemed upset, but Kari ignored it.

"Better than I look, apparently. Everyone keeps asking that. I'm ready to go home!" The room tensed immediately.

"Oh, about that..." Nick sighed and took her hand, but didn't elaborate.

"What did I miss?" Kari looked around the room, but no one spoke. Kari turned to Barba, who looked down.

"I didn't want to stress you out, but...you can't go home."

"Why is that, exactly?" Kari looked around the room again, but no one spoke. Kari swung her legs off the bed and jumped to her feet.

"None of you can tell me what happened? Really?"

"Cálmate, cariña. Todo está bien. Acostarse." Barba spoke softly and grabbed her hand. "There was a fire in your building last night."

"What?! How?" Kari turned to Nick.

"We're pretty sure it was arson. We suspect-" Kari laughed humorlessly and raised her hand, cutting him off.

"Jackson. Perfect."

"One of your neighbors did get your cat out if the building. He's staying with Rollins." Kari let out a breath.

"Thanks, Amanda. Is there any news? Do we know where he is?" Nick took Kari's hand and squeezed it.

"Not yet. But we're close. Prometo."


End file.
